A Dirty Shame

A Dirty Shame Quotes

An uptight, middle-aged, repressed woman turns into a sex addict after getting hit on the head, and she then falls into an underground subculture of sex addicts in suburban Baltimore.

Big Ethel: Being a *whore* is a disease?
Betty Doggett: Don't you find it funny that every man in this neighborhood has a penis?
[giggles]
Ray Ray Perkins: Ma'am, my name is Ray-Ray and I'm here to... service you.
Marge the Neuter: It's not safe out! People are shaving their crotches as we speak. There is pubic hair in the air! Everywhere!
[from trailer]
Sylvia Stickles: I'm Sylvia Stickles and I've got the itch!
Sexed-Up Black Neighbor: Come on up here and give me some of that strange.
Sylvia Stickles: I'm coming as fast as I can!
[Fat Fuck Frank jumps out in front of Sylvia as the Yuppie neighbors work on their formstorm]
Fat Fuck Frank: Mrs. Stickles, my name Fat Fuck Frank and I'm your daughter's number one fan.
Sylvia Stickles: She moved to the Erie Canal area.
[the Neuter Yuppie Woman giggles]
Neuter Yuppie Man: Hey, Vaughn.
Vaughn Stickles: [to the Neuter Yuppie Man] Hey!
[to Fat Fuck Frank]
Vaughn Stickles: Caprice retired from show business. She's no longer a public figure.
Fat Fuck Frank: Her name ain't Caprice. It's "Ursula Udders" and she's famous. She got the biggest tits on Harford Road!
[the Neuter Yuppie Neighbors stifle their laughs]
Fat Fuck Frank: [shouting] Ursula! Ursula Udders!
Neuter Yuppie Man: Texture, that's what I call it.
Fat Fuck Frank: It's me, Fat Fuck Frank, and I miss them great big...!
[Vaughn puts his hand over Fat Fuck Frank's mouth and silences the rest of his shout while Caprice bangs on her windows]
Caprice Stickles: Destroy all Neuters!
Neuter Yuppie Woman: We sure didn't have this in D.C.
Neuter Yuppie Man: God, I love Baltimore. It's a real city of diversity.
[Loose Linda busts into a family's house]
Loose Linda: OK! Who wants to fuck me?
[the Horny Kid raises his hand]
Horny Kid: I do!
[the kid's family and Loose Linda fight over him]
Sylvia Stickles: Something is the matter with your vagina!
Big Ethel: My daughter's a good girl, she hates sex!
Sylvia Stickles: I'm Sylvia Stickles and I've got the itch!
Fat Fuck Frank: Let them puppies loose!
Neuter Grandmother on Bus: I seen you, Sylvia Stickles, showing your pubic patch to the bus driver. You should move downtown where you belong, you whore!
Ray-Ray: A concussion is a terrible thing to waste.
Caprice Stickles: [explaining why she is going to have her breasts reduced] My back hurts. I'm getting sores. I wanna do housework without pain. I'd like to sleep on my stomach once in a while...
Anti 'Bear' Neuter: Look, I'm not a prude. I'm married to an Italian.
[repeated line]
Ray-Ray: Let's go sexing!
Neuter Old Maid: [to Big Ethel] I heard your daughter Sylvia picked up a bottle with her cooter in the old folks' home!
Marge the Neuter: Today, somebody called me a Neuter. And you know what? I didn't mind. If neuter means "normal," I'll say it loud - I am Marge the Neuter and I'm proud!
Paige: Admit to God... you are a whore.
Sylvia Stickles: I'm a whore.
Paige: Good. Now, make a list of all the people you've fucked and apologize to their parents.
[at the Bear house]
Cow Patty: Hi, I'm Cow Patty.
Vaughn Stickles: Hi, I'm Vaughn. I live up the street and I'm looking for my wife Sylvia.
Cow Patty: I'm the only Goldilocks allowed in this Bear cave. I'm a Bear Hag and we call this...
Mama Bear, Papa Bear, Baby Bear: Bear soup!
[Big Ethel looks in at the Bears as Cow Patty notices her]
Cow Patty: Wow, a tranny bear. Come on in!
Big Ethel: [as she runs off] Police!
Big Ethel: Did you see those new neighbors moving in? Hmm? Grown men with hairly legs prancing around half naked? "We're bears." What the hell is that supposed to mean?
Big Ethel: You going to the movies, Dave?
Dingy Dave: Huh?
Big Ethel: [watching him scratch his ass] Hell, you're pickin' your seat, aren't you?
Paige: So many vaginas, so little time.
Betty Doggett: There is no higher power than sex!
Big Ethel: Perverts are taking over this neighborhood.
Neuter Old Maid: My husband is on Viagra. Every minute he wants it! I'm Viagra-vated and I'm not gonna take it anymore!
Vaughn Stickles: Help us! The sex addicts are taking over. Call the National Guard!
Neuter Yuppie Woman: To hell with this!
Neuter Yuppie Man: We're moving back to D.C. where we belong!
Ray-Ray: One day we're going to discover a brand new sex act, one that's never been performed before. And we hope you'll be with us on that day of carnal rapture.
Fat Fuck Frank: But, Ursula! They're hotter than a fresh-fucked fox in a forest fire, you know that!
Dora: Your cunt is like a charity. You must give, give, and give...
Sylvia Stickles: You were convicted of indecent exposure for the third time!
Caprice Stickles: I was promoting the art of dance!
Sylvia Stickles: With nude loitering? Nude and disorderly conduct? Nude drunken driving?
Caprice Stickles: I was not drunk! I was on pills!
Sylvia Stickles: Feel like yodeling in the canyon?
Neuter Man with Sub-Titles: [after Sylvia makes a move on him] That's it! I'm moving to Tulsa.
Big Ethel: Don't run away. Join us for our decency rally today. Only you can prevent fornication.
Neuter Man with Sub-Titles: Whatever...
Big Ethel: [pleading with Sylvia to give up her fixation on oral sex] You'll get a yeast infection!
Caprice Stickles: I'm a sex addict, I'm an exhibitionist, and I'm your daughter.
Sylvia Stickles: Oh, Ursula, ever since my concussion, I've learned so much about eros. I'm a sex addict, too. I'm a cunnilingus bottom, and I'm your mother.
Dora: Ever take a rufie?
Sylvia Stickles: No!
Dora: Me neither. I'm afraid I'll stay home and date rape myself all night long.
Vaughn Stickles: This isn't California.
Big Ethel: It's Harford Road!
Ronnie the Rimmer: Hello. I'm Ronnie the Rimmer, and I'm a sex addict.
Sylvia Stickles: I'm Sylvia, and my clitoris is in crisis.
Sylvia Stickles: Hey, would you like to go out for some funch?
Vaughn Stickles: What's funch?
Sylvia Stickles: Fucking during lunch!
Sylvia Stickles: Somebody, somewhere, finish me off!
Mama Bear: Hi! I'm Mama Bear. Have you met my hus bear?
Papa Bear: I'm Papa Bear, and this is our cub... Baby Bear!
Baby Bear: Grrrr!
Vaughn Stickles: Hi, I'm Vaughn. Welcome to the Harford Road area.
Papa Bear: When we take over, it's gonna be a...
Mama Bear, Papa Bear, Baby Bear: BEAR-QUAKE! GRRRRRR!
Mama Bear: Hey, polar bear, you know what an otter is?
Big Ethel: No.
Papa Bear: It's a bear cub who isn't fat or hairy yet, but will be!
Baby Bear: Find me a significant otter!
Sylvia Stickles: Mother, I don't feel well.
Big Ethel: Well, no wonder, they've got blatant homosexuals shopping right in our store. They eat life, you know... Sperm!

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