An elite military unit comprised of special operatives known as G.I. Joe, operating out of The Pit, takes on an evil organization led by a notorious arms dealer.

Heavy Duty: [about handling the accelerator suits] Careful. They're worth millions of dollars each.
Ripcord: [in a suit] Millions of dollars. Got it.
[falls out of the van]
Heavy Duty: [annoyed] Jesus.
Ripcord: My bad. My bad. Won't happen again!
[Ripcord gets run over by a car]
Duke: [after crashing into cars while running in the accelerator suits] Okay, that was crazy. I didn't expect that. What happened to you?
Ripcord: I went through the train. What happened to you?
Duke: I jumped over it.
Ripcord: You can do that?
Duke: Yeah. I told you to read that manual.
Ripcord: There's a manual?
Ripcord: Did it work?
Shana 'Scarlett' O'Hara: Yes, yes, it worked.
Ripcord: [his parachute opens and he lands at the White House] Good. Because I think I'm about to get arrested, again.
Ripcord: Hey. You all right?
Shana 'Scarlett' O'Hara: [pained] I'm fine. I didn't want anyone to see me like this.
Ripcord: Why?
Shana 'Scarlett' O'Hara: I don't know. All the the men we lost, General Hawk wounded, my neck just doesn't seem that important.
Ripcord: You almost lost your life out there. You have a reason to be concerned.
Shana 'Scarlett' O'Hara: First fight I lost since I was a kid. My father taught me to win.
Ripcord: Look, I don't see how you can teach anybody to win everything every time. I mean, look at you. You're still here, right? You get knocked down, you get back up. Maybe that's what he wanted you to learn. But then again, that would be an emotional response, one that can't be explained or quantified.
The Doctor: Now that we have a moment to ourselves, I've designed something especially for you, James.
Destro: [shocked] No!
[the Doctor injects nanomites into James McCullen's head]
The Doctor: This will only hurt a little. What comes next, more so. Nanomites, perfect little healers.
[James McCullen's head becomes completely silver]
Destro: I've finally taken my place in the long line of McCullens.
The Doctor: James McCullen is no more. Now you are Destro.
Destro: What have you done to me?
The Doctor: The time has come for the cobra to rise up and reveal himself. You will call me Commander.
General Hawk: Technically, G.I. Joe does not exist, but if it did, it'd be comprised of the top men and women from the top military units in the world, the alpha dogs. When all else fails, we don't.
General Hawk: Looks like your mission is complete here, Duke.
Duke: [regarding the Baroness] When you move then, she's gonna come after you. You know that, right? And with her Intel and toys, she'll find you.
General Hawk: What's your point?
Duke: You're going after her first and we want in.
Ripcord: General, it was our team that got wasted out there. We deserve payback.
General Hawk: You don't ask to be part of G.I. Joe. You get asked.
Duke: This is Captain Duke Hauser, prepare to be boarded.
Viper Guard: Sir.
Cobra Commander: You are relentless, Duke, I'll give you that much. And what's to stop me from blowing you out of the water?
Duke: Self preservation. I'm taking you in, Rex.
Cobra Commander: [laughs evilly] You and what army?
Duke: My army.
[from trailer]
The Baroness: Would you look at that? Real American heroes...
Breaker: Ripcord, can you hear me?
Ripcord: Loud and clear, buddy. Doing Mach 6 and loving it!
Storm Shadow: [to Snake Eyes] When our master was killed, you took a vow of silence. Now you will die without a word.
Heavy Duty: I'll create a distraction from outside and keep them busy while you lot infiltrate the facility from above. We'll find Duke...
Ripcord: grab the warheads...
Shana 'Scarlett' O'Hara: kill all the bad guys.
Storm Shadow: I told you I'd kill him if he touched you again.
The Baroness: I heard you the first time.
The Doctor: Are you ready, Mr. Zartan?
Zartan: Oh I'm ready, doctor. This is going to be the achievement of a lifetime.
The Doctor: Yes, as a master of disguise you have no equal, my friend.
Zartan: [confident] 18 months of studying my target, learning mannerisms but the devil is in the details.
Destro: [interrupts] Gentlemen, let's get it going.
Zartan: One more thing, I'll control my own brain thank you very much... Let's do this.
Destro: [handling an old iron mask] This belongs to an ancestor of mine. He was caught selling arms to both sides. The French forced him to wear it for the rest of his life. They called him Destro, destroyer of nations.
Storm Shadow: So why do you keep it?
Destro: So that I never forget the most important rule in dealing arms.
The Baroness: Let me guess. Never sell to both sides?
Destro: Never get caught selling to both sides.
Ripcord: All right, ladies! Mount up!
The Doctor: So far we've created 20 Neo-Vipers. Nineteen stand before you.
Destro: Is it working?
The Doctor: We injected 1,000 cc of the nanomite solution into each subject. When they finally stopped screaming, brain scans showed a complete inactivity of the self-preservation region of the cortex.
Destro: English, Doctor?
The Doctor: They feel no fear. Cortical nerve clusters showed complete inactivity. They feel no pain. Concepts of morality are disengaged. They feel no regrets. No remorse.
Duke: [to Snake-Eyes - inquiring where he is from] What about you?
Shana 'Scarlett' O'Hara: He doesn't speak.
Ripcord: Why?
Breaker: He doesn't say.
Heavy Duty: Standing in front of you are Delta-6 Accelerator suits.
Ripcord: What does it accelerate?
Heavy Duty: You. It'll make you run faster, jump higher and hit harder than any of your enemies. Let's suit up.
The Baroness: [Snake Eyes has left their SUV] He gave up.
Storm Shadow: He never gives up.
[their SUV is hit by an incoming train]
Breaker: Thousands of miles across and ten stories thick, locating McCullen's base will be like finding a needle in a coalmine.
Ripcord: [corrects him] Haystack.
Breaker: Oh, right, haystack in a coalmine.
The Baroness: [about Scarlett] That redhead is really starting to piss me off!
The Baroness: If I were really there, I might actually let you touch me.
Destro: I'll send a jet.
The Baroness: Business first. Besides, I'm married, remember?
Storm Shadow: If you had sent me in the first place, it would already be done.
Destro: I'm sending you now, Storm Shadow. No more mistakes. The schedule mustn't compromise any further. Keep your eye on her for me.
Storm Shadow: McCullen gave me orders to kill the Baron if he so much as touched you.
The Baroness: Well, he's my husband. Of course he touches me. And besides, his work at the lab goes much better after we've touched. And that's the important thing.
[the Baroness points a machine gun at a woman in an elevator]
The Baroness: Get out! GET OUT!
[woman runs out, Baroness gets in, as the elevator doors close]
The Baroness: Nice shoes.
[first lines]
Bastille Prison Warden: James McCullen, you Scottish pig, you've been found guilty of treason for the sale of military arms to the enemies of our Lord, King Louis XIII, even whilst you sold arms to our Lord himself.
James McCullen - 1641: Your king is a vile bag of filth who murders his own allies. I should have charged him double.
Bastille Prison Warden: You tried to overthrow the Crown in conspiracy with its enemies.
James McCullen - 1641: Unlike your simpleton king, his enemies know that is the true McCullen destiny not simple to supply arms, but to run the wars!
Bastille Prison Warden: Do you anything else to say before the sentence is carried out?
James McCullen - 1641: Yes, I do. Clan McCullen is far greater and more powerful than any of you could ever imagine. My sons will continue to rise long after I am gone, as will their sons and, God willing, their sons. It shall not end with my death!
Bastille Prison Warden: We are not going to kill you, McCullen. We're going to make an example of you! So that no man, woman nor child may ever see your treacherous face again, you shall wear this mask for the term of your natural life.
Ripcord: [Scarlett goes flying of the bike and Ripcord saves her] I got you, I got you.
Shana 'Scarlett' O'Hara: Nice catch, slick.
Ripcord: Don't start being all nice now.
[Scarlett laughs]
Ripcord: I gotta go!
[puts Scarlett down]
Shana 'Scarlett' O'Hara: Ripcord, get out of that plane!
Ripcord: Almost there!
Shana 'Scarlett' O'Hara: Eject, Ripcord, eject!
Shana 'Scarlett' O'Hara: [tells him in Celtic] Cuir amach!
Ripcord: Cuir amach!
[Ripcord ejects as the nanomites destroy the plane]
McCullen: I'm gonna make you very unhappy.
Duke: I'm already unhappy.
[from trailer]
General Hawk: [to Cover Girl] Make the call...
Sergeant Stone: [seeing Duke and Ripcord training] Are they Joes?
Heavy Duty: Hell, no. They're jokes.
Storm Shadow: [holding the Warheads] Three left.
Destro: Take the warheads to the missiles. I want them ready to launch in one hour.
Storm Shadow: It will be done.
Destro: Are they completely obedient?
The Doctor: Of course. The real world applications are endless. So, you tell me, is it working?
Destro: Send a team to rendezvous with Storm Shadow and the Baroness.
The Doctor: Consider it done. The Joes will never know what hit them.
[last words]
Storm Shadow: [to Snake-Eyes] I did not kill our master...
The Doctor: Now, if we sold one warhead on the black market, I could continue my research.
Destro: [interrupts] I appreciate your thirst for knowledge, Doctor, but this world is messy enough. No. What it needs is unification, leadership. It has to be taken out of chaos by someone with complete control. Beijing, Moscow, Washington... When these missiles detonate, the world will turn to the most powerful man on the planet. When I'm finished, the money will take care of itself. You'll be able to do all the research you want.
[from trailer]
Destro: What did you say your unit was called?
General Hawk: I didn't.
General Hawk: Knowing is half the battle.
The Baroness: Try this on for size, boys.
[launches missiles at the Joes]
Duke: Oh, shit!
The Baroness: Congratulations, Duke. You just saved Paris.
[Storm Shadow knocks Duke down]
The Baroness: Or at least most of it.
Shana 'Scarlett' O'Hara: I thought you Special Ops guys were supposed to be tough.
Ripcord: We are tough, but we're also sensitive.
[Heavy Duty has just destroyed their drill pods]
The Baroness: Now how do we get out of here?
Storm Shadow: Follow me!
[Storm Shadow jumps off the catwalk, landing 30 feet below on the floor]
The Baroness: Like that's gonna happen.
Ripcord: Look, I think you and me got off on the wrong foot. See, I'm attracted to you. And you, you're attracted to me. And him, the damn Zen master, he creeps me out. What I'm trying to say is...
Shana 'Scarlett' O'Hara: We're attracted to each other.
Ripcord: [surprised] Thank you!
Shana 'Scarlett' O'Hara: [cuts him off] That's what your saying. It's not what I'm saying.
Ripcord: It's not. So, what are you saying?
Shana 'Scarlett' O'Hara: Attraction is an emotion. Emotions are not based on science. And if you can't quantify or prove that something exists, well, then in my mind, it doesn't.
Ripcord: Okay. I'll get back to you on that one.
The Baroness: [smiles] Hello, Duke.
Duke: [surprised] Anna?
The Baroness: [kicks him] Now you have to admit, you had that coming.
Dr. Hundtkinder: Captain Hauser, Mr. McCullen requires a signature.
Ripcord: It's not gonna explode, is it?
Dr. Hundtkinder: They're not weaponized yet, and the kill switches are inside. All the same, I'd avoid potholes if I were you.
Zartan: [after Zartan kills Cover Girl] Oh. That's right. You don't kill women.
Storm Shadow: For you, Zartan, I'd make an exception.
General Hawk: Deploy the SHARCs!
Heavy Duty: [aiming a big machine gun at the Baroness] Don't make me shoot a woman.
Ripcord: [during a flashback scene] Do you love my boy?
The Baroness: Always and forever.
Hard Master: English, Storm Shadow. Where are your manners? He is hungry. We need to invite him in and show him the path.
Young Storm Shadow: He is a cur, a weakling!
Hard Master: He does not fight like one.
Hard Master: [to young Snake Eyes] Now, what shall we call you?
Heavy Duty: What do you say, sir?
General Hawk: I said you've been ordered back to the Pit, but I didn't say when, and I didn't say which route to take.
Shana 'Scarlett' O'Hara: Maybe a northern one.
[on the, as-of-yet, unidentified terrorist organization]
Cover Girl: Their capabilities are beyond anything we've ever encountered.
Ripcord: [exercising] Hey, man, Breaker told me Scarlett graduated college at 12 years old. She's like some freaky little deadly genius.
[Ripcord leans on bars]
Duke: Rip. I get it, Rip. You like her.
Ripcord: Sorry, my bad. To hell with it!
[Ripcord lets go]
Duke: Rip. Rip.
[Snake-Eyes blocks Storm Shadow's attempted death blow to Ripcord]
Storm Shadow: Hello, brother.
Zartan: Hello, Mr. President. Mr. McCullen sends his regards.
U.S. President: [shocked] Oh, my God. So, that's what this is all about.
Zartan: American politics. Governors, senators, congressmen. No wonder nothing ever gets done.
Destro: That's what we're going to fix, Mr. Zartan.
[as Storm Shadow prepares to kill Duke]
Duke: [pointing his gun] Move and I'm gonna blow her away.
The Baroness: [to Duke] Do it. You already killed me once.
[Duke takes down Snake-Eyes with a leg sweep]
Sergeant Stone: [to Duke, indicating to stop fighting] Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ahh!
Breaker: [to Heavy Duty] I've never seen Snake-Eyes take a hit.
Sergeant Stone: [to Heavy Duty and Breaker] They're Joes!
Heavy Duty: [scoffs] Maybe.

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