After arriving in India, Indiana Jones is asked by a desperate village to find a mystical stone. He agrees, and stumbles upon a secret cult plotting a terrible plan in the catacombs of an ancient palace.

Short Round: Wow! Holy Smoke! Crash landing!
Indiana Jones: Short Round, step on it.
Short Round: Okey dokey, Dr. Jones.
[turns his cap around]
Short Round: Hold on to your potatoes!
Willie: For crying out loud, there's a *kid* driving the car!
Indiana Jones: Relax, I've been giving him lessons.
Indiana Jones: Willie, Willie, Willie. What kind of a name is that? Is it short for something?
Willie: Willie is my professional name, Indiana.
Short Round: Hey, lady! You call him Dr. Jones!
Indiana Jones: *My* professional name.
Indiana Jones: Wear your jewels to bed Princess?
Willie: Yeah... and nothing else. Shock you?
Indiana Jones: Nothing shocks me. I'm a scientist.
Indiana Jones: [trapped in the middle of the rope bridge] Oh, shit.
Short Round: What is Sankara?
Indiana Jones: Fortune and glory, kid. Fortune and glory.
Indiana Jones: Mola Ram! Prepare to meet Kali... in Hell!
Indiana Jones: [trapped on a rope bridge] Shorty!
[Indy shouts to Shorty in Chinese. Short Round, wide-eyed, nods and wraps a rope around his arm]
Short Round: Hang on lady, we going for a ride!
[Indy raises his sword, and Willie realizes]
Willie: Oh... my... God! Oh my God... Oh my God...
[wraps a rope around her arm]
Willie: Is he nuts?
Short Round: He no nuts, he's crazy!
Short Round: I keep telling you, you listen to me more, you live longer!
Indiana Jones: Willie, we-are-going-to-DIE!
Sacrifice Victim: Om Namha Shivaye, Om Namha Shivaye, Om Namha Shivaye...
[Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God... ]
Willie: You're gonna get killed chasing after your damn fortune and glory!
Indiana Jones: Maybe. But not today.
Indiana Jones: Kali Ma protects us! We are her children! We pledge our devotion to her with an offering of flesh... and blood!
Indiana Jones: Are you trying to develop a sense of humor or am I going deaf?
[Indy signals his intention to cut the rope bridge]
Willie: Oh my God. Oh my God, is he nuts?
Short Round: He no nuts, he's crazy!
Willie: THAT'S the maharaja? A *kid*?
Short Round: Maybe he likes *older* women.
Willie: I hate the water... and I hate being wet... and I hate YOU!
Indiana Jones: GOOD!
[Willie accidentally sets off the same trap she just sprang]
Short Round: It wasn't me! It's her!
Chattar Lal: Dr. Jones, in our country, it's not usual for a guest to insult his host.
Mola Ram: Bali Mangthi Kali Ma.
[Sacrifice is what Mother Kali desires]
Mola Ram: Shakthi Degi Kali Ma.
[Power is what Mother Kali will grant]
Mola Ram: Kali ma... Kali ma... Kali ma, shakthi deh!
[Mother Kali... Mother Kali... Mother Kali, give me power!]
Indiana Jones: [groping desperately down Willie's dress] Where's the antidote?
Willie: Oh, listen, I just met you! Oh, I'm not that kind of girl...
Short Round: Hey, Dr. Jones, no time for love. We've got company.
Indiana Jones: [after listening to Mola Ram's plans] What a vivid imagination.
Eel Eater: Ah, dessert! Chilled monkey brains.
Eel Eater: Are you not eating?
Willie: I had bugs for lunch.
Willie: There are two dead people in here!
Indiana Jones: There's gonna be two dead people in here! Hurry!
Willie: [being lowered over a sacrificial pit] I'm not going to have anything nice to say about this place when I get back!
[Indy and Short Round are trapped in a room]
Indiana Jones: Stop! Look, just - stand against the wall, will ya?
[Short Round stands against the wall, springing a trap]
Short Round: You say to stand against the wall! I listen to what you say! Not my fault! Not my fault!
[repeatedly, as Mola Ram is trying to get the stones in Indiana's bag]
Indiana Jones: You betrayed Shiva!
Chattar Lal: Dr Jones, wasn't it the Sultan of Madagascar who threatened to cut off your head if you ever returned to his country?
Indiana Jones: No, it wasn't my head.
Chattar Lal: Then your hands, perhaps?
Indiana Jones: No, it wasn't my hands. It was my...
[looks down at his groin]
Indiana Jones: My misunderstanding.
Indiana Jones: We weren't brought here. Our plane crashed.
Willie: [nodding and smiling] It crashed.
Shaman of Maypore: [laughing] No, no, no. We prayed to Shiva to help us find the stone. It was Shiva who made you fall from sky. So you will go to Pankot Palace... and find Shivalinga... and bring back to us. Bring back to us. Bring back to us.
Shaman of Maypore: Now you see the power of the rock you bring back.
Indiana Jones: Yes. I understand its power now.
Indiana Jones: [after Willie loses Indy's gun] Where's my gun? WHERE'S MY GUN?
Willie: I burned by fingers and I cracked a nail!
Chattar Lal: Dr. Jones, the eminent archaeologist?
Willie: Hard to believe, isn't it?
[one of Mola Ram's guards is about to kill Short Round]
Indiana Jones: Wait! WAIT! He's mine!
[Indy grabs Shorty and holds him over the pit]
Indiana Jones: I'm all right kid.
[Indy winks at him]
[as Indiana Jones drinks his martini, Lao Che's henchmen laugh as he holds up a vial]
Willie: What's that?
Lao Che: Antidote.
Indiana Jones: To what?
Lao Che: [matter-of-factly] The poison you just drank.
[laughs aloud]
Mola Ram: [after tearing out victim's heart] Ab, uski jan meri mutti me hai! AB, USKI JAN MERI MUTTI ME HAI!
[Now, his life is in my fist! NOW, HIS LIFE IS IN MY FIST!]
Indiana Jones: Stay behind me, Short Round. Step where I step, and don't touch anything.
[curious, Short Round touches a lamp. A door falls open, with two dessicated mummies falling out. Short Round yells and backpedals]
Short Round: I step where you step! I touch nothing!
[Indy places his hands on the bosom of a statue]
Willie: I'm right *here*!
Short Round: Indy, I love you.
[burns Indy with a torch]
Short Round: Wake up, Indy! You're my best friend! Wake up, Indy!
Short Round: I'm very little! You cheat very big!
[Indy threatens to drop the Sankara stones into the gorge]
Indiana Jones: You want the stones, let 'em go!
[the Thuggees stop, uncertain. Willie smirks at Mola Ram]
Indiana Jones: Let 'em go!
Mola Ram: [laughs] Drop them, Dr. Jones! They will be found! You won't!
Mola Ram: [before Indy is whipped] Maro maro suar ko! Chamdi neecho peelo koon!
[strike and strike that pig again! Tear his skin and drink his blood!]
Willie: You know how to fly, don't you?
Indiana Jones: Um, no. Do you?
Mola Ram: The British in India will be slaughtered. Then we will overrun the Moslems and force their "Allah" to bow to Kali. And then the Hebrew God will fall and finally the Christian God will be cast down and forgotten.
Chattar Lal: I should say you look rather lost, but then I can't imagine where in the world the three of you would look at home.
Willie: Ooh, what big birds!
Indiana Jones: Those aren't big birds, sweetheart! They're giant vampire bats!
Mola Ram: [after Indy spits blood back in his face] You dare not do that.
Willie: [about the Sankara Stone] You could have kept it.
Indiana Jones: Nah, it would of just been another rock collecting dust.
Willie: Yeah, but it would have given you your fortune and glory.
Shaman of Maypore: Like monsoon...
[moves his hand over his eyes]
Shaman of Maypore: moves darkness, over all country.
Short Round: [in Cantonese] AA! GAU NGO AA! YAO YAN OI SAT NGO AA!
Indiana Jones: It's okay, kid. It's me.
Indiana Jones: We're in trouble!
Willie: Trouble? What kind of trouble?
Indiana Jones: It's a long story. Better hurry up or you won't get to hear it.
Lao Che: You never told me you spoke my language, Doctor Jones.
Indiana Jones: Only on special occasions.
[first lines]
Wu Han: [to Indy] Be careful.
[after getting dumped into a pond]
Willie: [crying] I was happy in Shanghai! I had a little house, and a garden! My friends were rich, we went to parties all the time in limousines! I *hate* being outside!
[Willie angrily splashes the water]
Willie: [gasps] I'm a singer! I could lose my voice!
Indiana Jones: I think we'll camp here tonight.
Indiana Jones: [meeting on the floor] The antidote!
Willie: Where's the diamond?
[cutting between Indiana and Willie's rooms]
Indiana Jones: "Palace slave"...
Willie: "Nocturnal activities"...
Indiana Jones: *I'm* a conceited ape?
Willie: "I'll tell you in the morning"...
Indiana Jones: I can't believe this.
Willie: He's not coming.
Indiana Jones: She's not coming.
Indiana Jones: I can't believe I'm not going.
[cutting between Indiana and Willie's rooms]
Willie: [looks at her clock] Five minutes...
Indiana Jones: [looks at his] Four and a half...
Willie: We're not sinking, we're CRASHIIINNNNNG!
[Indy and Short Round are exploring a cavern]
Short Round: Feels like I step on fortune cookie!
Indiana Jones: It's not fortune cookies. Let me take a look.
[Indy lights a lighter to find bugs crawling all over the place]
Short Round: That no cookie!
Mola Ram: You don't believe me, Dr. Jones? You will, Dr. Jones. You will become a true believer.
[Indiana and Mola Ram laugh]
Indiana Jones: [on Willie's incessant screaming] The biggest trouble with her is the noise.
Short Round: Indy! Cover your heart! Cover your heart!
Indiana Jones: [to Lao Che] I suggest you give me what you owe me... or 'Anything Goes!'
Lao Che: So it's true? You've found Nurhachi?
Indiana Jones: You know I did. Last night one of your boys tried to get Nurhachi without paying for him.
[Kao Kan holds his bandaged hand]
Lao Che: You have insulted my son.
Indiana Jones: No, you have insulted me. I spared his life.
Willie: I can't go to Pankot! I'm a *singer*!
Kao Kan: [laughing] Too much to drink, Dr. Jones?
Willie: So what are you supposed to be, a lion tamer?
Indiana Jones: I'm allowing you to tag along. So why don't you give your mouth a rest. Okay doll?
Willie: What do you mean "tag along"? Ever since you got into my club, you haven't been able to take your eyes off of me.
Indiana Jones: Oh, yeah?
[tugs his hat down over his eyes, and falls asleep]
Indiana Jones: [after the palace dinner] I've got something for you.
Willie: There's nothing you have that I could possibly want.
Indiana Jones: Right.
[turns and uncovers a plate of fruit, Indy takes a bite from an apple. Willie runs over and begins to devour the fruit]
Willie: You're a very nice man.
Willie: Indiana Jones, this is one night you'll never forget. This is the night I slipped right through your fingers. Sleep tight and pleasant dreams. I could've been your greatest adventure.
Mola Ram: [to Indiana who is cornered on a rope bridge] You are in a position unsuitable to give orders.
Short Round: [after almost falling into the gorge] Not very funny.
Willie: Aren't you gonna introduce us?
Lao Che: This is Willie Scott; this is Indiana Jones, a famous archaeologist.
Willie: Well I always thought that archaeologists were always funny looking men going around looking for their mommies.
Indiana Jones: Mummies.
Indiana Jones: You know what your problem is, Princess? You're too used to getting your own way.
Willie: And you're too proud to admit that you're crazy about me, Dr. Jones!
Indiana Jones: If you want me Willie, you know where to find me.
Willie: Five minutes. You'll be back over here in five minutes.
Indiana Jones: I'll be asleep in five minutes.
Willie: Five. You know it, and I know it.
Webber: Ah, Dr. Jones. I'm Earl Webber. I spoke with your assistant and managed to secure three seats. However, there might be a *slight* inconvenience as you will be riding on a cargo plane full of live poultry.
Indiana Jones: Shorty, where's my razor?
[Willie goes to the front of the plane, and sees the cockpit is empty]
Willie: Oh, no... oh, no...
[Runs back and starts shaking Indy awake]
Willie: Mister! Mister! Oh, Mister, wake up!
Short Round: [waking up] You call him Dr. Jones, doll!
Willie: Okay, Dr. Jones! Dr. Jones, wake up!
[last lines]
Indiana Jones: Anything can happen. It's a long way to Delhi.
Willie: No, thanks. No more adventures with you, Dr. Jones.
Indiana Jones: Sweetheart, after all the fun we've had together?
Willie: If you think I'm going to Delhi with you, or anyplace else after all the trouble you've gotten me into, think again, buster! I'm going home to Missouri where they never feed you snakes before ripping your heart out and lowering you into hot pits! This is NOT my idea of a swell time!
[to native]
Willie: Excuse me, sir. I need a guide to Delhi. If you could...
[Indy snaps his whip around Willie's waist and pulls her back]
Willie: Oh...
Short Round: Very funny. Very funny.
[Indy and Willie start to kiss]
Short Round: Uh-oh!
Willie: Give me your hat.
Short Round: [takes his cap off] Why?
Willie: [taking the cap] Because I'm gonna puke in it!
[Short Round quickly tugs the cap off her]

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