A drag queen comes to the rescue of a man who, after inheriting his father's shoe factory, needs to diversify his product if he wants to keep the business afloat.

Charlie Price: And remember. You are not making footwear. You are not making boots. You are making two and a half feet of irresistible, tubular sex!
Lola: [looks horrified] Burgundy. Please, God, tell me I have not inspired something burgundy. Red. Red. *Red*. *Red*, Charlie boy. *Red*! Is the color of sex! Burgundy is the color of hot water bottles! Red is the color of sex and fear and danger and signs that say, Do. Not. Enter. All my favorite things in life.
Big Mike: Well, you wouldn't put a frock on. If you don't want to get off with blokes, why put a frock on?
Lola: Thing is, Mike, ask any woman what she likes most in a man. Compassion, tenderness, sensitivity. Traditionally the female virtues. Perhaps what women secretly desire is a man who is fundamentally a woman.
Lola: I have to warn you, Charlie from Northampton, I have a terrible habit of doing exactly the opposite of what people want of me.
Mrs. Cobb: Ah! Now the little pottery shoes, they're good luck, you see? You know, like Whitby has lucky glass ducks, Northampton has lucky pottery shoes. Can I just ask, are you a man?
Lola: I am, love, yes.
Mrs. Cobb: Ah, that's fine. Just so's I know how to leave the toilet seat.
Lola: [about her father] He wouldn't talk to me. Even when he got lung cancer. So it's ironic, really. Fags got him in the end.
Don: [as lola insults the shoes] You'd look nice in 'em love.
Lola: [walks up to him slowly, sits on his knee, looks seductively into his eyes] If you can't get women to wear them...
Lola: [adopts a much deeper masculine voice] ... then you'll never get a bloke like me to where 'em.
Lola: There's a little... chill in the air... isn't there?
Lauren: Lola, you're gonna have to excuse Charlie. We don't have many transvestites in Northampton.
Lola: I'm not merely a transvestite, sweetheart. I'm also a drag queen. It's a simple equation. A drag queen puts on a frock, looks like Kylie. A transvestite puts on a frock, looks like... Boris Yeltsin in lipstick. There, I said it.
Charlie Price: [Announcing to the employees] You are making 2.5 feet of irresistible, tubular, SEX!
Charlie Price: ...any questions?
[about every employee present raises hands]
Lola: One never knows what joy one might find amongst the unwanted.
Lola: [When looking at the first sample boot created by the Price & Sons company] Please, God! Tell me I have not inspired something burgundy!
Charlie Price: But they're comfy.
Lola: [after Lola had accidentally put the sample boot onto the loudspeaker microphone button] SEX, shouldn't be comfy!
Mel: Thank God, I thought it was just me!
Lola: Look to the heel, young man. The sex is in the heel.
Charlie Price: [describing his plans to make boots for drag queens] The factory that started the century providing a range of footwear for men will go into the next century providing footwear for... a range of men.
Charlie Price: How much do you weigh?
Lola: The right amount! How much do you drink?
Lola: Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
Lola: Change your mind about someone.
Lauren: Maybe you judge what you leave behind by what you inspire in other people.
Lola: Came all this way for my advice? I feel like Oprah!
Lola: [regarding his broken boot heel] Like most things in life, they cannot stand the weight of a man.
Lola: There are some very funny people out there.
Lola: Put on a frock and I can sing 'Stand by Your Man' in front of five hundred strangers... Put on a pair of jeans and I can't even sodding well say hello.
Lola: Northampton
Charlie Price: Northampton
Milan Organiser: Northampton, Northampton, Northampton
Harold Price: Northhhhhampton
Don: Kentucky?
George: [about Charlie Price in the boots] Does he look sexy?
Lauren: He does to me George.
[first lines]
Lola's Dad: Come on. Come on, you stupid boy!
Charlie Price: What you don't realize, Lola, is this is not my world either.
Charlie Price: It's what my dad wanted and all.
Lola: Strapless cocktail dress?
Lola: Sex shouldn't be comfy!

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