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Amidst a sea of litigation, two New York City divorce lawyers find love.
Daniel: If you can reach out and touch the horizon, you're at your journeys end. Audrey: James Joyce? Daniel: My Uncle Clive, but, equally profound, don't you think?
Daniel: Do you mind if I use the kitchen? Sara: He cooks? You didn't tell me he cooks.
[wakes in bed with Daniel, wearing a ring on her finger - gets out of bed] Audrey: Oh, okay, okay, wake up, wake up. Daniel: Morning. Audrey: Wake up. Would you please look at your left hand, please? Daniel: What? Audrey: Please! [sees the ring on his hand] Daniel: Oh, would you look at that. Oh, you got one, too. Audrey: Daniel, did we get married last night? Daniel: Yes, I have a feeling we did. The details are still a little bit fuzzy but the bride was beautiful in her figure-hugging Sarena outfit and... you're not happy. Audrey: Do I look happy? Daniel: It's hard to say. I mean, because you never seem to be happy around me and... Audrey: Oh, it's all coming back. We gotta find the guy who did this and tell him that we didn't mean it. Daniel: But I did mean it. Audrey: Of course you didn't, how could you? You don't want to be married to me!
Daniel: Can I say something? Audrey: No, you can't!
Daniel: Are you dating anyone?
[Audrey and Daniel are overlooking the beautiful countryside. In the background their car rolls past them and they hear it crash] Audrey: Well that spoiled it for me.
Audrey: [after giving Daniel a new tie] I thought you'd enjoy owning one without a stain. Daniel: That's an interesting presumption.
Thorne Jamison: [seeing Audrey in the crowd while fans surround him for an autograph] See this Barry, I've got classy fans, too. And a what might you want? Audrey: I want you. Thorne Jamison: Oohh! Chihuaha! Nice opening line, I like it. Direct, no B.S, just how I like it. Grr. Ok, tell me what we're working with Dollface. Audrey: Ok, this is what we're working with *Dollface*. You've got a devoted, hardworking wife at home, yet you cheat, lie, and blow all your money on strippers and whores. You finally abandon her leaving her no option but to file for divorce. That's the opposing council's opening line. Direct. No B.S. Just the way you like it. And your wife has just hired the second best divorce attorney in New York City to deliver it. Now you need someone to tell you side of the story, no matter how *sordid*, and make you seem like strawberry shortcake. Thorne Jamison: I like strawberry shortcake, and I like your style. Do you know what I think? I think we should continue this conversation back at my place Audrey: You know what I think? I think you should leave the thinking to me. Thorne Jamison: Right.
Audrey: Are you taking your clothes off? Daniel: Only the bottoms.
Audrey: Oh, boy, don't you try to analyze me with your whole, disheveled Bohemian my socks don't match so therefore I have insight into all things wacko mindset. There are no psychoanalytical shortcuts into my pants.
Daniel: But I do care about you. And so I will give you a divorce, gladly. Because call me old fashion, but when you love someone, I believe you should be unselfish enough to give them whatever they want. I'll be around later to pick up my things.
Audrey: Each case I handle convinces me further that marraige is dead in the water.
Daniel: I don't believe in divorce. Audrey: But you're a divorce lawyer! Daniel: It's a job.
[arguing in court after having spent the night together] Daniel: Are you suggesting that because the number is so large, your client is entitled to more than what was agreed upon in the pre-nup? Because that was not your position last night, assuming you remember last night's... position.
Daniel: So... Romantic, no? Audrey: No.
Sara: Do you want him dead? Audrey: Mother. Sara: I mean socially.
Sara: Is this Rafferty guy cute? Audrey: I didn't notice. Besides he's not your type. He's old enough to drive.
Sara: Forgive me if I get a little emotional, but this is the day every mother dreams of. The day she watches her only daughter put a lock on her bedroom door, to keep her husband out.
Sara: Would you like a cocktail? Daniel: Oh, yes, please, only if it's an extremely large one.
[talking to her mom on the phone and eating candy corn] Sara: What are you eating? Audrey: Vegetables.
Sara: You are so adorable when you're going for the kill.
Audrey: Oh look, medical waste in a glass. No umbrella?