A guy in love with an engaged woman tries to win her over after she asks him to be her maid of honor.

Hannah: We won't be naming our child, Athol. Maybe when he's a teenager.
Colin's Father: My mother's third cousin was the Duke of Athol.
Aunt Minna: We're a long line of Athols.
[last lines]
Tom: Oh, Monica...
Hannah: Oh, Bill...
Tom: Nobody in the world makes me laugh the way you do. You're my best friend. I just wanna be with you.
[discussing the Bridemaid's dresses]
Melissa: What's your dress size, Tom?
Tom: I don't know. What's your jock size, Melissa?
Dennis: I can feel my sperm dying inside of me, one at a time.
Tom: I have a theory.
Hannah: Oh, Casanova has a theory.
Colin McMurray: in the scene at the gym after Colin dunks the ball, "I'm sorry, that's probably not allowed... to just stuff it in there like that."
Christie - Wife #6: If you're a bad boy, I'm gonna spank you!
[she spanks Tom]
Tom: Ow! Ok, I've got something to say to you.
[Hannah kicks him]
Tom: Ow!
Christie - Wife #6: Tom, I just want you to know that if you need anything, money, advice, help with girl problems, you can always come to me. I'd like you to think of me as a real mother.
Tom: Alright, sure
[Tom's dad comes over]
Christie - Wife #6: Oh, here he is!
Thomas Bailey Sr.: She's just as drunk as the night we met.
[Tom starts to take a drink from his whiskey but Christie snatches it away and drinks it herself]
Tom: Oh got right on ahead.
Thomas Bailey Sr.: [Slaps Tom] You're a bad influence on her!
Tom: Wha-? Me?
[Thomas Sr. and Christie walk off]
Hannah: He knows that he can just date right?
Tom: No, I don't think so.
[They laugh]
Melissa: Could someone please pass me the Splenda? Could someone who is not a misogynist pass the Splenda?
Melissa: [Stephanie takes the sugar bowl out of Tom's hand and passes it to Melissa] Thank you, Stephanie.
Melissa: Service me bitch!
Tom: I'm sorry I can't break that rule. I have a rule about that.

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