Monsters, Inc. Quotes
In order to power the city, monsters have to scare children so that they scream. However, the children are toxic to the monsters, and after a child gets through, two monsters realize things may not be what they think.
Sulley: [is fighting the invisible Randall when he is hit with a snowball] Mike?
Mike: Look, it's not that I don't care about the kid.
Sulley: Mike, you don't understand.
Mike: Yes, I do. I was just mad, that's all. I needed some time to think, but you shouldn't have left me out there.
Sulley: I'm being attacked!
Mike: No, I'm not attacking you. I'm trying to be honest, just hear me out. You and I are a team. Nothing is more important than our friendship.
[Boo approaches Mike, frightened]
Mike: I-I know, kid. He's too sensitive.
Mike: [Sulley is being strangled] Come on, pal. If you start crying, I'm gonna cry, and I'll never get through this. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, but I am now. Hey, Sulley, I am baring my soul here. The least you can do is pay attention!
[Throws snowball; it hits Randall, making him visible enough for Sulley to knock him out]
Mike: Hey, look at that, it's Randall. It's... Oh.
Mike: Look, it's not that I don't care about the kid.
Sulley: Mike, you don't understand.
Mike: Yes, I do. I was just mad, that's all. I needed some time to think, but you shouldn't have left me out there.
Sulley: I'm being attacked!
Mike: No, I'm not attacking you. I'm trying to be honest, just hear me out. You and I are a team. Nothing is more important than our friendship.
[Boo approaches Mike, frightened]
Mike: I-I know, kid. He's too sensitive.
Mike: [Sulley is being strangled] Come on, pal. If you start crying, I'm gonna cry, and I'll never get through this. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, but I am now. Hey, Sulley, I am baring my soul here. The least you can do is pay attention!
[Throws snowball; it hits Randall, making him visible enough for Sulley to knock him out]
Mike: Hey, look at that, it's Randall. It's... Oh.
Randall: [Finding out that he caught Mike instead of Boo] Wazowski! Where is it, you little one-eyed cretin?
Mike: Okay, first of all, it's "creetin". If you're gonna threaten me, do it properly. Second of all, you're nuts if you think kidnapping ME is gonna help YOU cheat your way to the top.
Randall: [chuckles evilly] You still think this is about that stupid scare record?
Mike: Well... I did. Right up until you... chuckled... like that... And now I'm thinking I should just get out of here.
[a Handle Bar is placed down preventing Mike from leaving, and his hands get cuffed on]
Randall: I am about to revolutionize the scaring industry, and when I do, even the great James P. Sullivan will be working of me. First I need to know where the kid is, and you're gonna tell me.
Mike: Okay, first of all, it's "creetin". If you're gonna threaten me, do it properly. Second of all, you're nuts if you think kidnapping ME is gonna help YOU cheat your way to the top.
Randall: [chuckles evilly] You still think this is about that stupid scare record?
Mike: Well... I did. Right up until you... chuckled... like that... And now I'm thinking I should just get out of here.
[a Handle Bar is placed down preventing Mike from leaving, and his hands get cuffed on]
Randall: I am about to revolutionize the scaring industry, and when I do, even the great James P. Sullivan will be working of me. First I need to know where the kid is, and you're gonna tell me.
Randall: Cheating hey? Okay, I think I know how to make this all go away. What happens when the whistle blows in five minutes?
Mike: I get a time out?
Randall: Everyone goes to lunch! Which means the scare floor will be...
Mike: ...Painted?
Randall: EMPTY! I'll be empty, you idiot! See that clock?When the big hand is pointing up...
[forces Mike's arm up]
Randall: and the little hand is pointing up...
[forces the other arm up]
Randall: the door will be in my station. But when the big hand is pointing down...
[forces Mike's arm down]
Randall: the door will be gone. You have until then to put the kid back. Get the picture?
Mike: I get a time out?
Randall: Everyone goes to lunch! Which means the scare floor will be...
Mike: ...Painted?
Randall: EMPTY! I'll be empty, you idiot! See that clock?When the big hand is pointing up...
[forces Mike's arm up]
Randall: and the little hand is pointing up...
[forces the other arm up]
Randall: the door will be in my station. But when the big hand is pointing down...
[forces Mike's arm down]
Randall: the door will be gone. You have until then to put the kid back. Get the picture?
Mike: Roz, my tender, oozing blossom, you're looking fabulous today. Is that a new haircut? Come on, tell me it's a new haircut, isn't it? It's got to be a new haircut. New makeup? You had a lift? You had a tuck? You had something? Something has been inserted in in you that makes you look... Listen, I need a favor. Randall was working late last night out on the scare floor. I really need the key to the door he was using.
Roz: Well, isn't that nice? But guess what? You didn't turn in your paperwork last night.
Mike: He didn't... I... no paperwork?
Roz: This office is now closed.
[closes the window on Mike's fingers]
Mike: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Roz: Well, isn't that nice? But guess what? You didn't turn in your paperwork last night.
Mike: He didn't... I... no paperwork?
Roz: This office is now closed.
[closes the window on Mike's fingers]
Mike: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Mike: Good morning, Roz, my succulent little garden snail. And who will we be scaring today?
Roz: Wazowski! You didn't file your paperwork last night.
Mike: Oh, that darn paperwork! Wouldn't it be easier if it all just blew away?
Roz: Don't let it happen again.
Mike: Yes, well, I'll try to be more careful next time.
Roz: I'm watching you, Wazowski. Always watching. Always.
Mike: Ooh, she's nuts.
Roz: Wazowski! You didn't file your paperwork last night.
Mike: Oh, that darn paperwork! Wouldn't it be easier if it all just blew away?
Roz: Don't let it happen again.
Mike: Yes, well, I'll try to be more careful next time.
Roz: I'm watching you, Wazowski. Always watching. Always.
Mike: Ooh, she's nuts.
Celia: Oh, Michael, I've had a lot of birthdays - well, not a lot of birthdays but this is the best birthday ever.
[Mike stares lovingly at her]
Celia: What are you looking at?
Mike: I was just thinking about the first time I laid eye on you, how pretty you looked.
Celia: [shyly] Stop it.
Mike: Your hair was shorter then.
Celia: Mm-hmm. I'm thinking about getting it cut.
[the snakes in Celia's hair squeal with fear]
Mike: No-no, I like it this length.
[the snakes sigh in relief]
Mike: I like everything about you. Just the other day someone asked me who I thought the most beautiful was in all of Monstropolis. You know what I said?
Celia: What did you say?
Mike: I said...
[Just then, Sulley's face appears in the window behind Celia]
Mike: Sulley?
Celia: Sulley?
[Mike stares lovingly at her]
Celia: What are you looking at?
Mike: I was just thinking about the first time I laid eye on you, how pretty you looked.
Celia: [shyly] Stop it.
Mike: Your hair was shorter then.
Celia: Mm-hmm. I'm thinking about getting it cut.
[the snakes in Celia's hair squeal with fear]
Mike: No-no, I like it this length.
[the snakes sigh in relief]
Mike: I like everything about you. Just the other day someone asked me who I thought the most beautiful was in all of Monstropolis. You know what I said?
Celia: What did you say?
Mike: I said...
[Just then, Sulley's face appears in the window behind Celia]
Mike: Sulley?
Celia: Sulley?
[Boo, scared of the closet, shows Sully a picture]
Sulley: Hey, that looks like Randall. Randall's your monster. You think he's gonna come out of the closet and scare you?
[Opens closet and walks inside]
Sulley: Look, it's empty. No monster in here. Okay, NOW there is. I'm not gonna scare you. I'm off duty.
Sulley: Hey, that looks like Randall. Randall's your monster. You think he's gonna come out of the closet and scare you?
[Opens closet and walks inside]
Sulley: Look, it's empty. No monster in here. Okay, NOW there is. I'm not gonna scare you. I'm off duty.
Sulley: Mike, that's not her door.
Mike: What are you talking about? Of course it's her door. It's her door.
Sulley: No. Her door was white and it had flowers on it.
Mike: No. It must've dark last night because this is its door.
[opens the door. A bright light and polka music emanate from the room]
Mike: [to Boo] You hear that? Sounds like fun in there. Well, see ya kid. Send me a postcard. That's Mike Wazowski, care of 22 Mike Wazowsi-You-Got-Your-Life-Back-Lane.
Boo: Mowki Kowski.
Mike: Very good. Now bon voyage. See ya.
[waves a stick in front of Boo as if she were a dog]
Mike: Look at the stick. See the stick?
[throws the stick through the door]
Mike: Go get the stick. Go fetch.
Mike: What are you talking about? Of course it's her door. It's her door.
Sulley: No. Her door was white and it had flowers on it.
Mike: No. It must've dark last night because this is its door.
[opens the door. A bright light and polka music emanate from the room]
Mike: [to Boo] You hear that? Sounds like fun in there. Well, see ya kid. Send me a postcard. That's Mike Wazowski, care of 22 Mike Wazowsi-You-Got-Your-Life-Back-Lane.
Boo: Mowki Kowski.
Mike: Very good. Now bon voyage. See ya.
[waves a stick in front of Boo as if she were a dog]
Mike: Look at the stick. See the stick?
[throws the stick through the door]
Mike: Go get the stick. Go fetch.
Mike: Psst, Fungus. Fungus, you like cars? Because I got a really nice car. You let me go, I'll give you... a ride... in the car.
Fungus: I'm sorry, Wazowski, but Randall said I'm not allowed to fraternize with victims of his evil plot.
[Sulley Grabs Fungus from above, Mike looks up overjoyed. In the Next Scene, Randall gets the Scream Extractor working again, only to find Fungus where Mike should be]
Randall: What are you doing? Where's Wazowski?
[Randall turns off the machine as Fungus, now turned white and pale from the Scream Extractor, weakly points out to him]
Fungus: I'm sorry, Wazowski, but Randall said I'm not allowed to fraternize with victims of his evil plot.
[Sulley Grabs Fungus from above, Mike looks up overjoyed. In the Next Scene, Randall gets the Scream Extractor working again, only to find Fungus where Mike should be]
Randall: What are you doing? Where's Wazowski?
[Randall turns off the machine as Fungus, now turned white and pale from the Scream Extractor, weakly points out to him]
Sulley: How can I do this? How could I be so stupid? This could ruin the company.
Mike: The company? Who cares about the company? What about us? That thing is a KILLING MACHINE!
[points at Boo, who is babbling harmlessly]
Mike: I bet it's waiting for us to fall asleep, and then - bam! Oh, we're easy prey, my friend. Easy prey! We're sitting targets!
Mike: The company? Who cares about the company? What about us? That thing is a KILLING MACHINE!
[points at Boo, who is babbling harmlessly]
Mike: I bet it's waiting for us to fall asleep, and then - bam! Oh, we're easy prey, my friend. Easy prey! We're sitting targets!
Mike: [as the Scream Extractor approaches] What is that thing? What is that thing? Hey, hey, hey, that thing is moving. I don't like big, moving things that are moving towards me.
[the Scream Extractor comes to a stop, pointing itself directly at Mike]
Randall: Say hello to the Scream Extractor.
Mike: Hello. Hey, where are you going? C'mon, we'll talk! We'll have a latte!
[the Scream Extractor comes to a stop, pointing itself directly at Mike]
Randall: Say hello to the Scream Extractor.
Mike: Hello. Hey, where are you going? C'mon, we'll talk! We'll have a latte!
Mike: Oh, you should have seen the look on Waternoose's face when that wall went up. Woo-hoo! I hope we get a copy of that tape. Hey, you all right? Come on, we did it. We got Boo home. Sure, we put the company in the toilet, and, gee, hundreds of people will be out of work now, not to mention the angry mob that'll come after us when there's no more power... but hey, at least we had a few laughs, right?
Sulley: [Having had an idea, from seeing what Boo's laughing could do] Laughs!
Sulley: [Having had an idea, from seeing what Boo's laughing could do] Laughs!
[first lines]
Flint: All right, Mr. Bile, is it?
Bile: Uh, my friends call me Phlem.
Flint: Uh-huh, Mr. Bile, can you tell me what you did wrong?
Bile: I fell down?
Flint: No, No, before that.
[Turning to the Trainees behind her]
Flint: Can anyone tell me Mr. Bile's big mistake? Anyone?
[the Trainees look confused]
Flint: [Playing the Footage on the Screen above of Bile entering the room] Alright let's check footage, right there. The Door! And leaving the door open is the worst mistake that any employee could make, because...
Bile: Uh... it could let in a draft?
Henry J. Waternoose: [Storming in] It could let in a child.
Flint: All right, Mr. Bile, is it?
Bile: Uh, my friends call me Phlem.
Flint: Uh-huh, Mr. Bile, can you tell me what you did wrong?
Bile: I fell down?
Flint: No, No, before that.
[Turning to the Trainees behind her]
Flint: Can anyone tell me Mr. Bile's big mistake? Anyone?
[the Trainees look confused]
Flint: [Playing the Footage on the Screen above of Bile entering the room] Alright let's check footage, right there. The Door! And leaving the door open is the worst mistake that any employee could make, because...
Bile: Uh... it could let in a draft?
Henry J. Waternoose: [Storming in] It could let in a child.
Henry J. Waternoose: This has gone far enough, James.
Sulley: She's home now. Just leave her alone!
Henry J. Waternoose: I can't do that, James. She's seen too much. You both have.
Sulley: It doesn't have to be this way.
Henry J. Waternoose: I have no choice. Times have changed. Scaring isn't enough anymore.
Sulley: But kidnapping children?
Henry J. Waternoose: I'll kidnap a thousand children before I let this company die, and I'll silence anyone who gets in my way!
[Waternoose knocks Sulley to the ground and lunges at Boo. He instead finds the simulated child]
Voice: Simulation terminated. Simulation terminated...
Henry J. Waternoose: [confused] Huh? But... What?
[the lights come on and it's revealed that Boo's room is really the simulation room; Mike and several CDA agents are standing behind the console]
Mike: I don't know about you guys, but I spotted several big mistakes. You know what? Let's watch my favorite part again, shall we?
[replays the tape of Waternoose over and over]
Sulley: She's home now. Just leave her alone!
Henry J. Waternoose: I can't do that, James. She's seen too much. You both have.
Sulley: It doesn't have to be this way.
Henry J. Waternoose: I have no choice. Times have changed. Scaring isn't enough anymore.
Sulley: But kidnapping children?
Henry J. Waternoose: I'll kidnap a thousand children before I let this company die, and I'll silence anyone who gets in my way!
[Waternoose knocks Sulley to the ground and lunges at Boo. He instead finds the simulated child]
Voice: Simulation terminated. Simulation terminated...
Henry J. Waternoose: [confused] Huh? But... What?
[the lights come on and it's revealed that Boo's room is really the simulation room; Mike and several CDA agents are standing behind the console]
Mike: I don't know about you guys, but I spotted several big mistakes. You know what? Let's watch my favorite part again, shall we?
[replays the tape of Waternoose over and over]
[Randall cuffs Boo onto the chair at the Scream Extractor, preparing to extract her screams to impress Waternoose]
Henry J. Waternoose: Finally. I shouldn't have trusted you. Because of you, I had to banish my top scarer.
Randall: Ah, with this machine, we won't need scarers. Besides, Sullivan got what he deserved.
Henry J. Waternoose: Sullivan was twice the scarer you'll ever be!
Henry J. Waternoose: Finally. I shouldn't have trusted you. Because of you, I had to banish my top scarer.
Randall: Ah, with this machine, we won't need scarers. Besides, Sullivan got what he deserved.
Henry J. Waternoose: Sullivan was twice the scarer you'll ever be!
Yeti: You wanna go to the village? Okay, rule number one out here: Always... no, Never go out in a blizzard.
Sulley: We need to get to Boo.
[a snowcone gets thrown at Sulley from off-screen. The Yeti points at Mike]
Mike: Boo? What about us?
[Throws another snowcone]
Mike: Ever since that kid came in, you've ignored everything I've said, and now look where we are!
[Throws another snowcone]
Mike: Oh, we were about to break the record, Sulley. We would've had it made!
Sulley: None of that matters now.
Mike: None of it matters?
[Drops the snowcone he was about to throw onto the floor]
Mike: Wa-wait a second. None of it matters? Oh, okay, that's - no. Good. Great. So now the truth comes out, doesn't it?
Yeti: Oh, would you look at that? We're out of snowcones. Let me... just go outside and make some more.
[Leaves]
Mike: Sulley, what about everything we ever worked for? Does that matter? Huh? What about Celia? I am never... never gonna see her again. Doesn't that matter? What about me? I'm your pal, I'm-I'm your best friend. Don't I matter?
Sulley: I'm sorry, Mike. I'm sorry we're stuck out here. I didn't mean all this to happen. But Boo's in trouble. I think there might be a way to save her if we can just get down to that...
Mike: We? Whoa, whoa. We? No. There's no we this time, pal. If-if-if you wanna go out there and freeze to death, you be my guest, because you're on your own.
Sulley: We need to get to Boo.
[a snowcone gets thrown at Sulley from off-screen. The Yeti points at Mike]
Mike: Boo? What about us?
[Throws another snowcone]
Mike: Ever since that kid came in, you've ignored everything I've said, and now look where we are!
[Throws another snowcone]
Mike: Oh, we were about to break the record, Sulley. We would've had it made!
Sulley: None of that matters now.
Mike: None of it matters?
[Drops the snowcone he was about to throw onto the floor]
Mike: Wa-wait a second. None of it matters? Oh, okay, that's - no. Good. Great. So now the truth comes out, doesn't it?
Yeti: Oh, would you look at that? We're out of snowcones. Let me... just go outside and make some more.
[Leaves]
Mike: Sulley, what about everything we ever worked for? Does that matter? Huh? What about Celia? I am never... never gonna see her again. Doesn't that matter? What about me? I'm your pal, I'm-I'm your best friend. Don't I matter?
Sulley: I'm sorry, Mike. I'm sorry we're stuck out here. I didn't mean all this to happen. But Boo's in trouble. I think there might be a way to save her if we can just get down to that...
Mike: We? Whoa, whoa. We? No. There's no we this time, pal. If-if-if you wanna go out there and freeze to death, you be my guest, because you're on your own.
Mike: Look at the big jerk. He ruined my life, and for what? A STUPID KID! Because of you, I am stuck in this frozen wasteland!
Yeti: Wasteland? I think you mean "Wonderland"! I mean, how about all this fabulous snow, huh? Oh, and wait until you see the local village, cutest thing in the world. I haven't mentioned all the free yak's milk.
Sulley: Wh... What did you say?
Yeti: Yak's milk. Milking a yak isn't exactly a picnic; but once you pick the hairs out, it's very nutritious.
Sulley: No, No. Something about a Village. Are there any Kids there?
Yeti: Oh, sure. Tough kids, sissy kids, kids who climb on rocks...
Sulley: Where is it?
Yeti: Bottom of the Mountain. A 3 Day hike from here.
Sulley: 3 Days? We need to get there NOW.
[Sulley bangs his fists against the wall in Frustration. A fallen icicle rolls over to a Toboggan and Lantern over in the corner, which could help him get down the mountain quickly]
Yeti: Wasteland? I think you mean "Wonderland"! I mean, how about all this fabulous snow, huh? Oh, and wait until you see the local village, cutest thing in the world. I haven't mentioned all the free yak's milk.
Sulley: Wh... What did you say?
Yeti: Yak's milk. Milking a yak isn't exactly a picnic; but once you pick the hairs out, it's very nutritious.
Sulley: No, No. Something about a Village. Are there any Kids there?
Yeti: Oh, sure. Tough kids, sissy kids, kids who climb on rocks...
Sulley: Where is it?
Yeti: Bottom of the Mountain. A 3 Day hike from here.
Sulley: 3 Days? We need to get there NOW.
[Sulley bangs his fists against the wall in Frustration. A fallen icicle rolls over to a Toboggan and Lantern over in the corner, which could help him get down the mountain quickly]
[Sulley's alarm clock clicks, and Mike impersonates the radio announcer]
Mike: Hey, good morning, Monstropolis. It's now five after the hour of 6:00 A.M. in the big monster city. Temperature's a balmy 65 degrees, which is good news for you reptiles, and it looks like it's gonna be a perfect day to maybe, hey, just lie in bed, sleep in, or simply... Work out that flab that's hanging over the bed! Get up, Sulley!
[honks a horn right in Sulley's face; Sulley wakes up and screams, then starts working out]
Sulley: I don't believe I ordered a wake-up call, Mikey.
Mike: Hey, less talk, more pain, marshmellow boy!
Mike: Hey, good morning, Monstropolis. It's now five after the hour of 6:00 A.M. in the big monster city. Temperature's a balmy 65 degrees, which is good news for you reptiles, and it looks like it's gonna be a perfect day to maybe, hey, just lie in bed, sleep in, or simply... Work out that flab that's hanging over the bed! Get up, Sulley!
[honks a horn right in Sulley's face; Sulley wakes up and screams, then starts working out]
Sulley: I don't believe I ordered a wake-up call, Mikey.
Mike: Hey, less talk, more pain, marshmellow boy!
Mike: Get out of here. You're ruining everything.
Sulley: I went back to get your paperwork and there was a door.
Mike: What? A door?
Sulley: Randall was in it.
Mike: Wait a minute, Randall? That cheater! He's trying to boost his numbers.
Sulley: There's something else.
Mike: What?
Sulley: Ook-lay in the ag-bay.
Mike: What?
Sulley: Look in the bag.
Mike: [the Bag Sulley carried over with Boo inside is missing] What bag?
Sulley: I went back to get your paperwork and there was a door.
Mike: What? A door?
Sulley: Randall was in it.
Mike: Wait a minute, Randall? That cheater! He's trying to boost his numbers.
Sulley: There's something else.
Mike: What?
Sulley: Ook-lay in the ag-bay.
Mike: What?
Sulley: Look in the bag.
Mike: [the Bag Sulley carried over with Boo inside is missing] What bag?
Mike: Come on, the coast is clear. Ok, all we have to do is get rid of that thing, so wait here while I get its cardkey.
Sulley: But she can't stay here this is the men's room.
[pause]
Mike: That is the weirdest thing you have ever said. Its fine, it's ok! Look, it loves it here, its dancing with joy!
[Boo needs to 'go' badly and is struggling to hold it in]
Mike: I'll be right back with its door key.
Sulley: [laughs] That's a cute little dance you got. Almost looks like you gotta - Oh.
Sulley: But she can't stay here this is the men's room.
[pause]
Mike: That is the weirdest thing you have ever said. Its fine, it's ok! Look, it loves it here, its dancing with joy!
[Boo needs to 'go' badly and is struggling to hold it in]
Mike: I'll be right back with its door key.
Sulley: [laughs] That's a cute little dance you got. Almost looks like you gotta - Oh.
[Mike and Sulley, with the help of Waternoose, are preparing to send Boo home, but a huge metal door is brought out instead of Boo's]
Mike: Sir, that's not her door.
Henry J. Waternoose: I know, I know...
[Suddenly, Randal materializes in front of the door and opens it, which leads out to a Harsh Cold Environment]
Henry J. Waternoose: ...It's yours.
[Waternoose, holding Boo, pushes Mike and Sulley through the door]
Mike: Sir, that's not her door.
Henry J. Waternoose: I know, I know...
[Suddenly, Randal materializes in front of the door and opens it, which leads out to a Harsh Cold Environment]
Henry J. Waternoose: ...It's yours.
[Waternoose, holding Boo, pushes Mike and Sulley through the door]
Henry J. Waternoose: There's nothing more toxic or deadly than a human child. A single touch could kill you. Leave a door open, and one can walk right into this factory; right into the monster world.
Trainee: I won't go into a kid's room. You can't make me.
Henry J. Waternoose: You're going in there, because we need this.
[Holds out a Scream Canister, which lets out a small scream that it Extracted]
Henry J. Waternoose: Our city is counting on you to collect those screams. Without scream, we have no power. Yes, it's dangerous work, and that's why I need you to be at your best. I need scarers who are confident, tenacious, tough, intimidating. I need scarers like... like... James P. Sullivan.
Trainee: I won't go into a kid's room. You can't make me.
Henry J. Waternoose: You're going in there, because we need this.
[Holds out a Scream Canister, which lets out a small scream that it Extracted]
Henry J. Waternoose: Our city is counting on you to collect those screams. Without scream, we have no power. Yes, it's dangerous work, and that's why I need you to be at your best. I need scarers who are confident, tenacious, tough, intimidating. I need scarers like... like... James P. Sullivan.
Celia: So, uh... are we going anywhere special tonight?
Mike: I-I just got us into a little place called, um... Harryhausen's.
Celia: Harryhausen's? But it's impossible to get a reservation there.
Mike: Not for Googlie Bear. I will see you at quitting time, and not a minute later.
Celia: Okay, sweetheart.
Mike: Think romantical thoughts.
[singing]
Mike: You and me, me and you, both of us together!
Mike: I-I just got us into a little place called, um... Harryhausen's.
Celia: Harryhausen's? But it's impossible to get a reservation there.
Mike: Not for Googlie Bear. I will see you at quitting time, and not a minute later.
Celia: Okay, sweetheart.
Mike: Think romantical thoughts.
[singing]
Mike: You and me, me and you, both of us together!
Yeti: Abominable. Can you believe that? Do I look abominable to you? Why can't they call me the Adorable Snowman, or the Agreeable Snowman, for crying out loud? I'm a nice guy. Snow cone?
Mike: Yuck.
Yeti: No, no, no, don't worry. It's lemon. How about you Big Fella? Snow cone?
Sulley: [Feeling sad after accidentally Scaring Boo at the Scare Simulator] Did you see the way she looked at me?
Mike: Yuck.
Yeti: No, no, no, don't worry. It's lemon. How about you Big Fella? Snow cone?
Sulley: [Feeling sad after accidentally Scaring Boo at the Scare Simulator] Did you see the way she looked at me?
[Ward runs out of a door, scared to tears]
Ward's Assistant: What happened?
Ward: The kid almost touched me. She got this close to me.
Ward's Assistant: She wasn't scared of you? She was only six.
Ward: [shakes his assistant] I could have been dead. I could have DIED.
Ward's Assistant: [slaps Ward] Keep it together, man.
Ward's Assistant: [whistles] Hey, we've get a dead door over here.
[Smitty and Needleman arrive with a Door Shredder, and place the door Ward went through into it]
Needleman: OK, Let her rip!
[the Door gets shredded, leaving only shards and a Door Knob]
Ward's Assistant: What happened?
Ward: The kid almost touched me. She got this close to me.
Ward's Assistant: She wasn't scared of you? She was only six.
Ward: [shakes his assistant] I could have been dead. I could have DIED.
Ward's Assistant: [slaps Ward] Keep it together, man.
Ward's Assistant: [whistles] Hey, we've get a dead door over here.
[Smitty and Needleman arrive with a Door Shredder, and place the door Ward went through into it]
Needleman: OK, Let her rip!
[the Door gets shredded, leaving only shards and a Door Knob]
Henry J. Waternoose: No, no, no, no, no. What was that? You're trying to scare the kid, not lull it to sleep.
Bile: I was going for a snake-slash-ninja approach, with a little hissing.
[hisses]
Henry J. Waternoose: How many times must I tell you? It's all about presence. About how you enter the room.
Bile: I was going for a snake-slash-ninja approach, with a little hissing.
[hisses]
Henry J. Waternoose: How many times must I tell you? It's all about presence. About how you enter the room.
Sulley: Mike, this isn't Boo's door.
Mike: Boo? What's Boo?
Sulley: That's... what I decided to call her. Is there a problem?
Mike: Sulley, you're not supposed to name it. Once you name it, you start getting attached to it. Now put that thing back where it came from or so help me...
[pauses, realizing that they suddenly have the attention of the entire scare floor]
Mike: Oh, hey. We're rehearsing a - a scene for the upcoming company play called uh, Put That Thing Back Where It Came From Or So Help Me. It's a musical.
[singing]
Mike: Put that thing back where it came from or so help me... so help me, so help me and cut. We're still working on it, it's a work in progress but, hey, we need ushers.
Mike: Boo? What's Boo?
Sulley: That's... what I decided to call her. Is there a problem?
Mike: Sulley, you're not supposed to name it. Once you name it, you start getting attached to it. Now put that thing back where it came from or so help me...
[pauses, realizing that they suddenly have the attention of the entire scare floor]
Mike: Oh, hey. We're rehearsing a - a scene for the upcoming company play called uh, Put That Thing Back Where It Came From Or So Help Me. It's a musical.
[singing]
Mike: Put that thing back where it came from or so help me... so help me, so help me and cut. We're still working on it, it's a work in progress but, hey, we need ushers.
Needleman: Hey, Mr. Sullivan!
Sulley: Guys, I told you, call me Sulley.
Smitty: [Giggling] I don't think so.
Needleman: We just wanted to wish you good luck today.
Mike: Hey, hey, hey, hey. Come on, get lost, you two. You're making him lose his focus.
Needleman: Oh, sorry.
Sulley: See you later, fellas.
Smitty: Go get 'em, Mr. Sullivan!
Needleman: Quiet! You're making him lose his focus.
Smitty: Oh, no. Sorry!
Needleman: Shut up!
Sulley: Guys, I told you, call me Sulley.
Smitty: [Giggling] I don't think so.
Needleman: We just wanted to wish you good luck today.
Mike: Hey, hey, hey, hey. Come on, get lost, you two. You're making him lose his focus.
Needleman: Oh, sorry.
Sulley: See you later, fellas.
Smitty: Go get 'em, Mr. Sullivan!
Needleman: Quiet! You're making him lose his focus.
Smitty: Oh, no. Sorry!
Needleman: Shut up!
Mike: Hello, is this thing on? Hey, good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Nice to be here in... your room. Hi, where are you from?
[kid doesn't answer]
Mike: You're in kindergarden, right? I used to love kindergarden. Best three years of my life.
[still no answer]
Mike: Of my life. But I love sports. Dodgeball was the best. I was the fastest one out there. Course, I was the ball. You see, I... was the ball. All right, kid.
[Mike swallows his microphone and after a few seconds burps it out louldy; kid laughs]
Mike: Thank you! You've been a wonderful audience. I'll be here all week. Don't forget to tip your waitress.
[kid doesn't answer]
Mike: You're in kindergarden, right? I used to love kindergarden. Best three years of my life.
[still no answer]
Mike: Of my life. But I love sports. Dodgeball was the best. I was the fastest one out there. Course, I was the ball. You see, I... was the ball. All right, kid.
[Mike swallows his microphone and after a few seconds burps it out louldy; kid laughs]
Mike: Thank you! You've been a wonderful audience. I'll be here all week. Don't forget to tip your waitress.
[Mike and Sully are caught behind Boo's door]
CDA Agent: This is the CDA. Come out slowly with the child in plain sight.
Mike: [Steping out from behind the door with Boo's costume] Okay, okay! You got us. Here we are, here's the kid. I'm cooperating. But before you take us away, I have one thing to say.
[Takes Boo's sock out of his mouth and throws it at the CDA agents]
Mike: Catch!
CDA Agent: [as the others jump over the guy who gets the sock] 23-19!
CDA Agent: This is the CDA. Come out slowly with the child in plain sight.
Mike: [Steping out from behind the door with Boo's costume] Okay, okay! You got us. Here we are, here's the kid. I'm cooperating. But before you take us away, I have one thing to say.
[Takes Boo's sock out of his mouth and throws it at the CDA agents]
Mike: Catch!
CDA Agent: [as the others jump over the guy who gets the sock] 23-19!
TV Anchorman: If witnesses are to be believed, there has been a child security breach for the first time in monster history.
CDA Agent: We can neither confirm nor deny the presence of a human child here tonight.
Witness #1: Well the kid flew right over me and blasted a car with its laser vision.
Witness #2: I tried to get away from it, but he picked me up with his mind powers and shook me like a doll.
Witness #3: [has many eyes] It's true! I saw the whole thing!
Professor on TV: It is my professional opinion that now it's the time to *panic*!
CDA Agent: We can neither confirm nor deny the presence of a human child here tonight.
Witness #1: Well the kid flew right over me and blasted a car with its laser vision.
Witness #2: I tried to get away from it, but he picked me up with his mind powers and shook me like a doll.
Witness #3: [has many eyes] It's true! I saw the whole thing!
Professor on TV: It is my professional opinion that now it's the time to *panic*!
Henry J. Waternoose: James, this company has been in my family for three generations. I would do anything to keep it from going under.
Sulley: So would I, sir.
Henry J. Waternoose: Say, I could use your help with something.
Sulley: Anything, sir.
Henry J. Waternoose: You see, we've recently hired some new recruits, and frankly, they're... um...
Sulley: Inexperienced?
Henry J. Waternoose: Oh, they stink!
Sulley: Uh-huh.
Henry J. Waternoose: I thought you could drop by the simulator tomorrow and give them a little scare demonstration, show them what it takes to be our top scarer.
Sulley: I'll start with the old Waternoose Jump-and-Growl.
[Jumps and growls]
Henry J. Waternoose: [Startled] Oh! Ha ha! That's my boy.
Sulley: So would I, sir.
Henry J. Waternoose: Say, I could use your help with something.
Sulley: Anything, sir.
Henry J. Waternoose: You see, we've recently hired some new recruits, and frankly, they're... um...
Sulley: Inexperienced?
Henry J. Waternoose: Oh, they stink!
Sulley: Uh-huh.
Henry J. Waternoose: I thought you could drop by the simulator tomorrow and give them a little scare demonstration, show them what it takes to be our top scarer.
Sulley: I'll start with the old Waternoose Jump-and-Growl.
[Jumps and growls]
Henry J. Waternoose: [Startled] Oh! Ha ha! That's my boy.
Sulley: The power's out. Make her laugh again.
Mike: All right, I got a move here, it'll bring down the house. Up!
[Does a backflip, lands on his crotch]
Sulley: Oh, sorry, she didn't see that.
Mike: What? What'd you do, forget to check if her stupid hood was up, you big dope?
Sulley: Uncle Mike, try not to yell in front of her. You know we still need her to laugh.
Mike: Right. He-he! Hey, Boo! Just kidding. Look!
[Slams the door on his face, making baby noises]
Mike: Funny, right? Huh? With the... These are the jokes, kid.
Mike: All right, I got a move here, it'll bring down the house. Up!
[Does a backflip, lands on his crotch]
Sulley: Oh, sorry, she didn't see that.
Mike: What? What'd you do, forget to check if her stupid hood was up, you big dope?
Sulley: Uncle Mike, try not to yell in front of her. You know we still need her to laugh.
Mike: Right. He-he! Hey, Boo! Just kidding. Look!
[Slams the door on his face, making baby noises]
Mike: Funny, right? Huh? With the... These are the jokes, kid.
Randall: [to Sulley, hanging on from a door] Look at everybody's favorite scarer now, you stupid, pathetic waste!
[starts stomping on Sulley's fingers]
Randall: You've been number one for too long, Sullivan. Now your time is up. And don't worry, I'll take good care of the kid.
[Just then Boo jumps on Randall and attacks him; Sulley climbs back on and restrains Randall]
Boo: Roar! Roar!
Sulley: She's not scared of you any more.
Boo: Roar!
Sulley: Looks like you're out of a job.
[starts stomping on Sulley's fingers]
Randall: You've been number one for too long, Sullivan. Now your time is up. And don't worry, I'll take good care of the kid.
[Just then Boo jumps on Randall and attacks him; Sulley climbs back on and restrains Randall]
Boo: Roar! Roar!
Sulley: She's not scared of you any more.
Boo: Roar!
Sulley: Looks like you're out of a job.
[Boo, in disguise, walks up to Mr. Waternoose]
Henry J. Waternoose: Well hello, little one. Where did you come from?
Sulley: Mr. Waternoose.
Henry J. Waternoose: Ah, James. Is this one yours?
Sulley: Ah, actually that's my uh, cousin's sister's daughter, sir.
Mike: Yeah, it's uh, "Bring an Obscure Relative to Work Day".
Henry J. Waternoose: Hmm, must have missed the memo.
Henry J. Waternoose: Well hello, little one. Where did you come from?
Sulley: Mr. Waternoose.
Henry J. Waternoose: Ah, James. Is this one yours?
Sulley: Ah, actually that's my uh, cousin's sister's daughter, sir.
Mike: Yeah, it's uh, "Bring an Obscure Relative to Work Day".
Henry J. Waternoose: Hmm, must have missed the memo.
[Sully goes looking for Boo; Mike tries to talk him out of it]
Mike: Someone else will find the kid. I'll be their problem, not ours. She's out of our hair!
[they bump into an Invisible Randall]
Randall: [Turning Visible again] What are you two doing?
Monster: They're rehearsing a play.
Mike: [singing] She's out of our hair...!
Mike: Someone else will find the kid. I'll be their problem, not ours. She's out of our hair!
[they bump into an Invisible Randall]
Randall: [Turning Visible again] What are you two doing?
Monster: They're rehearsing a play.
Mike: [singing] She's out of our hair...!
Randall: So, how about this kid getting loose? Crazy, huh?
Sulley: Uh, yeah, crazy.
Randall: Word on the street is the kid has been traced to the factory. Know anything about that?
Sulley: Uh, no, uh...
Mike: No, no way. But if it was an inside job, I'd put my money on Waxford.
Randall: Waxford?
Mike: Yeah, works over in sector 6, he's got those shifty eyes.
Randall: Hey, Waxford!
Sulley: Uh, yeah, crazy.
Randall: Word on the street is the kid has been traced to the factory. Know anything about that?
Sulley: Uh, no, uh...
Mike: No, no way. But if it was an inside job, I'd put my money on Waxford.
Randall: Waxford?
Mike: Yeah, works over in sector 6, he's got those shifty eyes.
Randall: Hey, Waxford!
[Celia is hanging on to Mike while Sulley is dragging him]
Celia: Michael, if you don't tell me what's going on right now, we are through! You hear me? Through!
Mike: Okay, here's the truth. You know that kid they're looking for? Sulley let her in. We tried to get her back, but Waternoose had a secret plot, and now Randall's right behind us, and he's tring to kill us.
Celia: You expect me to believe that pack of lies, Mike Wazowski?
Boo: [peeking from Sulley's shoulder] Mike Wazowski!
[Celia screams and lets go]
Celia: Michael, if you don't tell me what's going on right now, we are through! You hear me? Through!
Mike: Okay, here's the truth. You know that kid they're looking for? Sulley let her in. We tried to get her back, but Waternoose had a secret plot, and now Randall's right behind us, and he's tring to kill us.
Celia: You expect me to believe that pack of lies, Mike Wazowski?
Boo: [peeking from Sulley's shoulder] Mike Wazowski!
[Celia screams and lets go]
Mike: You know, I am so romantic, sometimes I think I should just marry myself.
Sulley: Give me a break, Mike.
Mike: What a night of romance I got ahead of me. Tonight it's about me and Celia. Ooh, the Love Boat is about to set sail. Toot-toot! Cause I gotta tell you, buddy, that face of hers , it just makes my heart go...
[Sees Roz in front of him]
Mike: Yikes!
Sulley: Give me a break, Mike.
Mike: What a night of romance I got ahead of me. Tonight it's about me and Celia. Ooh, the Love Boat is about to set sail. Toot-toot! Cause I gotta tell you, buddy, that face of hers , it just makes my heart go...
[Sees Roz in front of him]
Mike: Yikes!
Celia: [wearing a cone after being treated by the CDA] Last night was one of the worst nights of my entire life, bar none!
[the snakes on her hair, also wearing cones, pop out to hiss at Mike]
Celia: I thought you cared about me.
Mike: Honey, please. Schmoopsie, I thought you liked sushi.
Celia: Sushi? Sushi? You think this is about sushi?
[the snakes on her hair, also wearing cones, pop out to hiss at Mike]
Celia: I thought you cared about me.
Mike: Honey, please. Schmoopsie, I thought you liked sushi.
Celia: Sushi? Sushi? You think this is about sushi?
Charlie: [Trying to reassure George, who is in crutches after too many encounters with the CDA] Now, George, I know you can do this. I picked out an easy door for you, in Nepal. Nice, quiet Nepal.
George Sanderson: You know, you're right. Here, Take this.
[Give Charlie his crutches]
Charlie: Go get 'em, Georgie.
[as George walks to the door, Sulley bursts through, knocks George over]
Sulley: Gangway! Look out! Coming through! Sorry, George.
Charlie: Hey, you can't just...
[Sees a sock on George]
Charlie: Twenty-three nine...!
[George grabs Charlie, stuffs the sock in his mouth and tosses him into the door, then walks away humming happily]
George Sanderson: You know, you're right. Here, Take this.
[Give Charlie his crutches]
Charlie: Go get 'em, Georgie.
[as George walks to the door, Sulley bursts through, knocks George over]
Sulley: Gangway! Look out! Coming through! Sorry, George.
Charlie: Hey, you can't just...
[Sees a sock on George]
Charlie: Twenty-three nine...!
[George grabs Charlie, stuffs the sock in his mouth and tosses him into the door, then walks away humming happily]
Mike: Scary feet, scary feet, scary feet, scary feet, oop! The kid's awake!
[Sulley ducks down]
Mike: Okay, scary feet, scary feet, scary feet, scary feet, kid's asleep!
[Sulley roars]
Mike: Twins! In a bunk bed!
[Sulley growls high, then low, then high then low again]
Mike: Darn I thought I had you with that one!
[Sulley ducks down]
Mike: Okay, scary feet, scary feet, scary feet, scary feet, kid's asleep!
[Sulley roars]
Mike: Twins! In a bunk bed!
[Sulley growls high, then low, then high then low again]
Mike: Darn I thought I had you with that one!
Sulley: [Sulley and Mike have just been banished to the Himalayas on Earth - Sulley opens the door to find nothing beyond it] BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Sulley: [Opens and closes door, pushes frame, nothing happens] No, no! No, no, no, no, NO!
Mike: It's too late! We're banished, genius! We're in the human world! Oh, what a great idea; goin' to your old pal Waternoose! Too bad he was in on the whole thing! All you hadda do, was listen to me, just once! But you didn't, did you?
[Sulley continues to fret in the doorway]
Mike: YOU'RE STILL NOT LISTENING!
[Mike jumps at Sulley in Frustration sending them down a hill. Then they get Company]
Yeti: Welcome to the Himalayas.
Sulley: [Opens and closes door, pushes frame, nothing happens] No, no! No, no, no, no, NO!
Mike: It's too late! We're banished, genius! We're in the human world! Oh, what a great idea; goin' to your old pal Waternoose! Too bad he was in on the whole thing! All you hadda do, was listen to me, just once! But you didn't, did you?
[Sulley continues to fret in the doorway]
Mike: YOU'RE STILL NOT LISTENING!
[Mike jumps at Sulley in Frustration sending them down a hill. Then they get Company]
Yeti: Welcome to the Himalayas.
Mike: Hey, genius. Wanna know why I bought the car?
Sulley: Not really.
Mike: To drive it! You know, like on the street? With the honk-honk and the vroom-vroom, and the no walking involved?
Sulley: Wah, wah, wah. Will you give it a rest, butterball? C'mon, you could use the exercise.
Mike: I could use the exercise? Look at you. You have your own climate.
Sulley: Not really.
Mike: To drive it! You know, like on the street? With the honk-honk and the vroom-vroom, and the no walking involved?
Sulley: Wah, wah, wah. Will you give it a rest, butterball? C'mon, you could use the exercise.
Mike: I could use the exercise? Look at you. You have your own climate.
[Sulley enters the Scare Simulator room with Mike and Boo in her costume, willing to ask for help which can send Boo home, forgetting Waternoose had been expecting him]
Sulley: Mr. Waternoose?
Henry J. Waternoose: James! You're just in time. OK Gentleman. It's time for you to see how scaring really works.
[Mike picks up Boo and walks away]
Sulley: But sir, I just wanted to ask...
[the lights go out, as if it's nighttime, and the Simulator Child goes to sleep]
Boo: [Excited to watch Sulley] Kitty!
Mike: No Boo. I wouldn't...
Henry J. Waternoose: Now, give us a a Great Big Roar.
Sulley: Sir, can I just...
Henry J. Waternoose: Roar!
Sulley: But sir...
Henry J. Waternoose: ROAR!
[Sulley without choice, lunges out at the Simulator Child and lets out a load roar, causing it to scream. Little did he know that Boo was standing close by, watching in horror]
Henry J. Waternoose: [Applauds] Well done James. Well done. Well Gentleman, I hope you've all learnt a valuable lesson...
[Sulley notices Boo run off crying, terrified from his roar]
Sulley: Mr. Waternoose?
Henry J. Waternoose: James! You're just in time. OK Gentleman. It's time for you to see how scaring really works.
[Mike picks up Boo and walks away]
Sulley: But sir, I just wanted to ask...
[the lights go out, as if it's nighttime, and the Simulator Child goes to sleep]
Boo: [Excited to watch Sulley] Kitty!
Mike: No Boo. I wouldn't...
Henry J. Waternoose: Now, give us a a Great Big Roar.
Sulley: Sir, can I just...
Henry J. Waternoose: Roar!
Sulley: But sir...
Henry J. Waternoose: ROAR!
[Sulley without choice, lunges out at the Simulator Child and lets out a load roar, causing it to scream. Little did he know that Boo was standing close by, watching in horror]
Henry J. Waternoose: [Applauds] Well done James. Well done. Well Gentleman, I hope you've all learnt a valuable lesson...
[Sulley notices Boo run off crying, terrified from his roar]
Sulley: [Hugging Boo, who wandered off with a Group of Little Monsters] Boo, I was so worried. Don't you ever run off like that again Young Lady.
Babysitter: Aww, what a nice father.
Sulley: Actually she's my Cousin's Sisters Daughter.
Baby Smitty: Mike Wazowski!
Mike: Hi there, shoo shoo.
[Smitty bites Mike's hand]
Mike: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
[Boo laughs at seeing that, which causes the Lights in the Hallway to go out, and the Little Monsters begin to scream in panic]
Sulley: Stop making Boo laugh!
Mike: I didn't!
Babysitter: Aww, what a nice father.
Sulley: Actually she's my Cousin's Sisters Daughter.
Baby Smitty: Mike Wazowski!
Mike: Hi there, shoo shoo.
[Smitty bites Mike's hand]
Mike: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
[Boo laughs at seeing that, which causes the Lights in the Hallway to go out, and the Little Monsters begin to scream in panic]
Sulley: Stop making Boo laugh!
Mike: I didn't!
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