Gonzo is contacted by his alien family through his breakfast cereal. He is kidnapped and it's up to Kermit and the gang to rescue Gonzo and help reunite him with his long-lost family.

Gonzo: I had that weird dream again.
Rizzo the Rat: You mean the one with the goat and the dwarf and the jar of peanut butter?
[Ed is examining Gonzo]
Ed Singer: No nostrils. How do you smell?
Rizzo the Rat: Awful. Trust me, I'm his roommate.
Ed Singer: Forgive me my Earthly manners, but, uh, do you have any idea what it's like to be laughed at?
Gonzo: Yeah, sure I do.
Ed Singer: To be called names, like 'wacko.'
Gonzo: Uh-huh.
Ed Singer: And 'freak-boy.'
Gonzo: Oh, yeah.
Ed Singer: And 'paranoid delusional psychopath'?
Gonzo: Got me there.
Kermit: You know what you are, Gonzo?
Gonzo: What?
Kermit: Distinct.
Rizzo: What? I cannot believe that little shrimp left us behind!
Pepe: I am not a shrimp. I am a king prawn!
Pepe: There is a menu correction, okay. We will now be serving baloney sandwiches.
[Swedish cook shouts something]
Pepe: But, no bread.
[Miss Piggy runs by]
Statler: Is breakfast over?
Waldorf: No, why?
Statler: 'Cause I think the bacon just ran out.
Kermit: Okay, guys. It's up to us. We have to save Gonzo from a whole army of government agents.
Fozzie: Well, I have a joke book.
Animal: Drumsticks, drumsticks!
Pepe: I have some loose jello, okay.
Kermit: Okay. Well that settles that.
[Gonzo appears on live TV]
Clifford: Hey, you better get down there, Kerm.
Kermit: Relax. No one is going anywhere, okay?
Gonzo: [on TV] You see, I was contacted through my breakfast cereal, and then it was confirmed to me by the Cosmic Fish that I am definitely from outer space.
Rizzo: So you want to go now, or wait for the commercial?
Kermit: Now.
TV Producer: Gonzo, you've got it.
Rizzo: Sure wish we could find a cure for it.
Pepe: You tell him, and I will smack you. I will smack you like a bad, bad donkey, okay!
Gonzo: Remember, I built this new Jacuzzi for my alien family, so please, no eating in the spa.
Gonzo: Rizzo?
Rizzo: No, it's Santa, but I forgot my reindeer.
Statler: I wonder if there really is life on other planets?
Waldorf: What do you care? You don't have a life on this planet.
Rizzo: How you doin', Ed?
Fast Eddie: Well, I ain't dead.
Noah: What are you, anyway?
Gonzo: Oh, uh, good question. Now technically speaking, uhh, let's say, put me down as a... 'Whatever'?
Gonzo: Rizzo, come here, my Cap'n Alphabet is sending me a message: R U There.
Rizzo: Are you sure it didn't say "you need help"?
Dr. Phil Van Neuter: Release me!
[Pepe reappears in ballet costume]
Pepe: La la la la lah laah. Lah!
Fozzie: Wow.
Pepe: I should, uh, go change, okay?
Rizzo: Are you telling me we came out here in the middle of the night for a stupid egg?
Pepe: Sh! It could be full of chocolate, okay.
Pepe: Hey, Kermit. When will you fix the oven, okay?
Kermit: What's wrong with the oven?
[oven explodes]
Pepe: That.
Kermit: He's one of us. And no matter what happens, no matter what obstacles we face, we NEVER forget one of our own.
Miss Piggy: I love it when you take charge.
Fozzie Bear: Hey! We left Bunsen and Beaker back at the gas station.
Kermit: Okay... Well, uh, from THIS point on , no matter what happens, we never forget one of our own.
Ed Singer: They are coming to Earth, aren't they?
Gonzo: I don't know.
Ed Singer: How many of them are there?
Gonzo: I don't know.
Ed Singer: When will they be here? And don't you *dare* tell me that you don't know.
Gonzo: I know not?
Clifford: Nah, Baby! Me and Gonzo are very tight. In fact, we're gonna be chillin' in our hot tub later on. Perhaps you'd like to partake in the partay?
Gonzo: Well, it's just that I'm sick and tired of being a one-of-a-kind freak, that's all.
Kermit: Gonzo, you are not a one-of-a-kind freak. You're a, uh... uh...
Gonzo: A whatever?
Kermit: Well... yeah.
Ubergonzo: Gonzo, by surviving and thriving on this alien planet, you have proven yourself audacious, courageous, and distinctly one-of-a-kind. We welcome you back with our most ceremonious of ceremonies.
Gonzo: What's that?
Ubergonzo: We gonna blow you up, baby.
Agent Barker: Black belt, third degree.
Miss Piggy: Platinum belt, with an unlimited line of credit.
Gonzo: I'm an alien!
Rizzo: What, have you been tap-dancing on the barbecue again?
Gonzo: Hey, Rizzo, come here! I think my Kap'n Alphabet is sending me a message.
Rizzo the Rat: Yeah, I know what you mean. I had some guacamole last night, and it's still speaking to me.
Kermit: Okay, guys. We've got to get through those doors.
Fozzie Bear: Should we just ask permission from those nice men with the rifles?
Kermit: [after the 'Door in a Jar' forms but the door is too small] Gee, that's disappointing.
Miss Piggy: Perfect. Somebody knock and see if Barbie's home.
Gonzo: [as Rizzo is hanging out the window] Rizzo?
Rizzo the Rat: No, it's Santa. But I forgot my reindeer.
Dr. Van Neuter: Hello, I'm Dr. Van Neuter. I'll be your brain surgeon today, if you don't mind. Ha! Get it? "Brain surgeon." "Mind." Hahaha!
Ed Singer: [puts on glove] May I?
Rizzo: I think before you answer that question you'd better be real clear on the final destination of that finger.
Gonzo: Rizzo?
Rizzo: Gonzo?
Miss Piggy: Kermy?
Kermit: Piggy?
TV Producer: What is going on here?
Kermit: Oh, hey Gonzo! I thought you were performing at a bar mitzvah?
Gonzo: No, I got the Electric Mayhem to cover for me.
Dr.Teeth: Shalom!
Ed Singer: I'm afraid we're going to have to perform an invasive quadrilobal brain probe on you and pluck it from your head.
Gonzo: The information?
Ed Singer: No, your brain.
Kermit: When we pull together, we can do anything.
Gonzo: What a great day.
Kermit: Mm-hmm.
Gonzo: That was probably the best day of my whole life. There's just one thing I still don't understand.
Kermit: What's that, Gonzo?
Gonzo: Why did they ask me to build a jacuzzi?
Rizzo, Pepe: [snickering]
Miss Piggy: Hello! What's a nice man like *you* doing in a guardhouse like *this*?
Ed Singer: Very, very moving, my little alien friend. But I'm afraid your timing is off. Now you're coming back with me in my c-cement truck.
Pepe: Oh, boy, he fell on you like a ton of bricks, okay.
Fozzie Bear: I have to go to the little bear's room.
Rizzo: I don't like the look of those guys. This rat smells a rat.
Agent Barker: [to Gonzo] The limo is right this way.
Rizzo: Did he say limo? Wait a second, I'm his translator. Hold up!
Dr. Phil Van Neuter: Feeling a little nervous, are we?
Gonzo: Of *course* I'm nervous.
Dr. Van Neuter: Well, don't worry. Everyone is before having their brains sucked out.
Pepe: De prawn cracker wins!
Ed Singer: Excuse me. Can this thing go any faster?
Rentro: I'm doing *thirty.*
Miss Piggy: Oh! A real story. Intrigue! Danger! New outfits! And it's mine, mine, mine, all mine, a ha ha ha ha... (to camera) Oh, come on, please, you think Ted Koppel never gets excited?
Gonzo: Now we can go meet my alien brothers at Cape Doom.
Kermit: Uh, what makes you think that aliens are landing there, Gonzo?
Gonzo: Oh, a sandwich told me.
Miss Piggy: Quick, somebody knock and see if Barbie's home!
Miss Piggy: I've got great news! Gonzo has been kidnapped by the government and it could be a life-threatening situation!
Kermit: How can that be great news?
Miss Piggy: Because, I've got a story, I've got a story! Oh! I need to change! Something that says journalistic integrity.
Agent Barker: We feel your pain, Gonzo.
Gonzo: They feel my pain!
Rizzo: I've got a paper-cut that's a doozy. You feel my pain, too?
Rentro: While they're warming up the brain-sucker for ya in surgery, I brought you a sandwich here, and I cut off the crusts for you.
Shelley Snipes: This is Shelley Snipes. Please ignore the little sow.
Ubergonzo: People of Earth: Later.
Gonzo: I had that weird dream again.
Rizzo the Rat: The one with the goat and the dwarf and the jar of peanut butter?
Dr. Phil Van Neuter: Remember, if you experience any unpleasantness, please let me know. I would hate to miss it.
Miss Piggy: We're going to pause here and we'll be right back with Gonzo, the Geek Who Fell to Earth.
Shelley Snipes: You backstabbing, underhanded little coffee-pig!
[a guard sees Fozzie's hands, which he washed the invisibilty spray off]
Female Armed Guard: YOU!... HANDS!... up?
Ed Singer: DON'T LAUGH AT MEEEEE!
Kermit: [on spy gadgets] Ahah. The old rubber ducky with invisibility-spray trick. Check.
Gonzo: Kermit, you're the best friend any alien could ask for.
Ed Singer: I'm gonna kill somebody.
Cosmic Fish #1: We are not the same as you.
Cosmic Fish #2: We are highly evolved beings. Now... uh, what was I saying?
Kermit: So... you'll write?
Gonzo: Oh, yeah, sure I'll write. There's probably a mailbox every couple of light years.
Dr. Tucker: From this moment on, if I say you're hungry, you eat. If I say you're sleepy...
Rizzo: I eat?
Agent Barker: How about this story? It's about a big, bad wolf and a little pig.
Miss Piggy: Um, that's three pigs, okay?
Agent Barker: Not in this version.
Kermit: What is he doing up there?
Rizzo: His breakfast cereal told him to sit up there.
Clifford: Talk about whole grain and nuts.
Miss Piggy: Hello little people. What an absolutely splendid day.
General Luft: You're terminated.
Ed Singer: Uhh, when you say 'terminated'...
General Luft: You need help, Singer! *Find* some!
Gonzo: People of Earth, do not be alarmed!
Miss Piggy: Oh brother.
Rentro: [singing] Jalapenos, jalapenos, gettin' my friend some jalapenos.
Miss Piggy: What are you doing here?
Gonzo: I'm making contact. What are you doing?
Miss Piggy: Midnight. The lone alien stands before a naked sky. The mood is tense. My hair looks *great.*
Gonzo: Come on, fellas. Take me to my leader.
Gonzo: [Gonzo wakes up from a bad dream and sits upright, accidentally sending a hammock-sleeping Rizzo flying out the window] I don't wanna be alone!
Rizzo the Rat: You're not alone.
Gonzo: Who said that?
Rizzo the Rat: Gee, I don't know. Maybe it's the rat who's hanging out of the window!

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