An anthology of 5 different cab drivers in 5 American and European cities and their remarkable fares on the same eventful night.

Paris Driver: Don't blind people usually wear dark glasses?
Blind Woman: Do they? I've never seen a blind person.
Mika: You called a taxi?
Man #1: No, we called a garbage truck. But you'll have to do the job.
Yoyo: What's you name, man?
Helmut Grokenberger: Helmut Grokenberger.
[pointing to his cab license]
Helmut Grokenberger: Here, you can read it. That's me.
Yoyo: Helmet?
Helmut Grokenberger: Helmut.
Yoyo: That's your name?
Helmut Grokenberger: Yeah.
Yoyo: Ha ha ha ha ha. That's a fucked up name to be namin' your kid! Helmet! See, 'cause in English, a helmet would be like, you know, like something you would wear on your head, you know? You a... a helmet! Ha ha ha! In English, that would be like callin' your kid, uh, "Lampshade" or some shit like that: 'Hey, Lampshade! Come here and clean up your room!' Ha ha ha ha ha!
Helmut Grokenberger: So, what's your name?
Yoyo: Yoyo.
Helmut Grokenberger: What?
Yoyo: Yoyo. That's my name.
Helmut Grokenberger: Ihr Name?
Yoyo: What? Yoyo.
Helmut Grokenberger: Yoyo. Yoyo.
Helmut Grokenberger: Yoyo. Yoyo, das ist Spielzeug für Kinder.
Yoyo: It ain't got nothin' to do with that. It's my name. Yoyo.
Helmut Grokenberger: It's a toy for kids, Yoyo.
Yoyo: Ain't got nothin' to do with that, man.
Helmut Grokenberger: Okay. Your name Yoyo, my name Helmut. Yoyo, Helmut. It's good.
Angela: Well, fuck you, fuck you, and fuck you!
Yoyo: Look, Angela, just shut up!
Angela: No, you shut up! Don't you be tellin' me to shut up!
Yoyo: Shut up!
Angela: You shut up!
Yoyo: No, you shut up!
Yoyo: [frustrated] Shit!
[he unzips his jacket]
Angela: You know what your fuckin' problem is, Yoyo? You don't realize you're wearin' your ass on your head!
Helmut Grokenberger: [Yoyo and Helmut happen to be wearing markedly similar winter hats] We have the same... we have the same hat.
Yoyo: What?
Helmut Grokenberger: The same hat.
Yoyo: No, no no, mine's different.
Helmut Grokenberger: Oh no, it's the same hat!
Yoyo: Mine's different, man!
Helmut Grokenberger: [pointing to the front of the hat] This is different, here.
Yoyo: Mine's-mine's the newest/latest, m-mine's fresh!
Helmut Grokenberger: No, the ear things here. The same! Here...
Yoyo: Naw, naw man, look mine is the, the hype!
Helmut Grokenberger: What is this? Hype?
Yoyo: The hype.
Helmut Grokenberger: What's a hype?
Yoyo: It's fresh!
Helmut Grokenberger: Fresh? Fresh hat?
Yoyo: It's the jammin', the newest/latest.
Helmut Grokenberger: Fresh hat! That sounds good, fresh hat!
Yoyo: ...right.
Paris Driver: Okay, if you're so smart, let me ask you a question. What color am I?
Blind Woman: I don't give a fuck about colors!
Paris Driver: But people have different colors of skin.
Blind Woman: Look, I don't care if you're green or blue like a carrot! For me the word color doesn't mean anything. I feel colors... but you'd never understand that!
Driver: If there's no room at the Hotel Genius, I'll take a room at the Hotel Imbecile.
[when Mika is waking up his passed-out customer]
Mika: Hey, Aki, wake up!
Man #3: Who the fuck are you? And where the fuck am I?
Mika: You're in a fucking taxi, fucking close to your home, and you owe me for the fucking ride!
Helmut Grokenberger: [objecting to Yoyo's driving the cab] No, no, it's...
Yoyo: What you mean 'No?'
Helmut Grokenberger: It's not allowed! Not allowed!
Yoyo: Look, yeah, it's allowed! This is New York!
Yoyo: Get the fuck out of here! That's like you name your kid "Lampshade."
[Mika has just dropped off last of his drunken passengers]
Mika: Are you sure you know where you are?
Man #3: Yes. Helsinki.
[Mika nods and drives away]
Victoria Snelling: [trying to make a phone call while the cab's radio's blasting] Will you hold on a second please? Miss - would you please, uh, just turn the music off?
Corky: [condescendingly turning it off] Sure, Mom.
Victoria Snelling: Thank you.
Paris Driver: I work from 8 p.m. to 8 a.m., so don't fuck with me in my own taxi! I don't give a shit about you, Ambassador, OK?
Passenger #1: Can't we have some fun?
Passenger #2: We've had champagne and we're happy...
Paris Driver: No, you don't have fun in my taxi! It's my place of business, not your fucking playground! Okay, get out!

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