Danny Ocean gathers a group of his World War II compatriots to pull off the ultimate Las Vegas heist. Together the eleven friends plan to rob five Las Vegas casinos in one night.

[last minute tips for Linus]
Rusty: You look down, they know you're lying and up, they know you don't know the truth. Don't use seven words when four will do. Don't shift your weight, look always at your mark but don't stare, be specific but not memorable, be funny but don't make him laugh. He's got to like you then forget you the moment you've left his side. And for God's sake, whatever you do, don't, under any circumstances...
Livingston: Rus?
Rusty: Yeah?
Livingston: Come look at this?
Rusty: Sure.
Danny: Ten oughta do it, don't you think?
Rusty: [Stares of in silence, not looking at Danny]
Danny: You think we need one more?
Rusty: [Silence]
Danny: You think we need one more.
Rusty: [Silence]
Danny: All right, we'll get one more.
Rusty: [Blinks]
Turk Malloy: Watch it, bud.
Virgil Malloy: Who you calling bud, pal?
Turk Malloy: Who you calling pal, friend?
Virgil Malloy: Who you calling friend, jackass?
Turk Malloy: Don't call me a jackass.
Virgil Malloy: I just did call you a jackass.
Rusty: You scared?
Linus: You suicidal?
Rusty: Only in the morning.
Danny: Does he make you laugh?
Tess: He doesn't make me cry.
Danny: Saul, are you sure you're ready to do this?
Saul: If you ever ask me that question again Daniel, you will not wake up the following morning.
Danny: He's ready.
Turk Malloy: I'm gonna get out of the car and drop you like third period French.
Saul: Tess is with Benedict now? She's too tall for him!
[Yen practices the vault somersault]
Turk Malloy: Ten says he shorts it.
Frank, Livingston, Saul: Twenty!
Rusty: I need the reason. And don't say money. Why do this?
Danny: Why not do it?
[Rusty shakes his head]
Danny: Cause yesterday I walked out of the joint after losing four years of my life and you're cold-decking "Teen Beat" cover boys.
[pause]
Danny: Because the house always wins. Play long enough, you never change the stakes. The house takes you. Unless, when that perfect hand comes along, you bet and you bet big, then you take the house.
[another pause]
Rusty: You've been practicing this speech, haven't you?
Danny: Little bit. Did I rush it? Felt I rushed it.
Rusty: No, it was good, I liked it. The "Teen Beat" thing was harsh.
Reuben: Look, we all go way back and uh, I owe you from the thing with the guy in the place and I'll never forget it.
Danny: That was our pleasure.
Rusty: I'd never been to Belize.
Rusty: Tell me this is not about her, or I am walking. I am walking off this job right now.
Danny: Who?
Rusty: Tess. Terry Benedict. Tell me this is not about screwing the guy who's screwing your wife.
Danny: Ex-wife.
Rusty: Tell me.
Danny: It's not about that.
[pause]
Danny: It's not entirely about that.
[Rusty turns away, furious]
Danny: Russ, do you remember what we said back when we first got into this business. We said we were gonna play the game...
Danny, Rusty: Like we had nothing to lose.
Danny: Well, I lost something... I lost someone. That's why I'm here.
[long pause]
Rusty: Okay, here's the problem ? we're stealing two things. And when push comes to shove, and you can't have both, which are you gonna choose? And remember - Tess does not split eleven ways!
Reuben: I know more about casino security than any man alive, I invented it, and it cannot be beaten. They got cameras, they got locks, they got watchers, they got timers, they got vaults, they got enough armed personnel to occupy Paris!
[pause]
Reuben: Okay, bad example.
[his only line in English]
Yen: Where the fuck you been?
Terry: All right, you proved your point. You broke into my vault. Congratulations, you're a dead man.
Rusty: [on Danny walking out of prison in a loosened black-tie suit] I hope you were the Groom.
Danny: [on Rusty's attire for picking him up from prison] Ted Nugent called, he wants his shirt back.
Danny: You gotta walk before you crawl.
Rusty: Reverse that.
Danny: There's a ninety-five pound Chinese man with a hundred sixty million dollars behind this door.
Linus: Let's get him out.
Danny: I'm not sure what four nines does, but the ace, I think, is pretty high.
Danny: It's never been tried.
Reuben: Ho, ho... "It's never been tried." It's been tried. A few guys even came close. You know the three most successful robberies in the history of Vegas?
[flashback - the gaming room at the Horseshow, in black-and-white]
Reuben: [voiceover] Number three, the Bronze Medal - pencil-neck grabs a lockbox at the Horseshoe...
[a man grabs a lockbox out of a guard's hand and runs for the door, and six guards instantly tackle him to the floor]
Reuben: He got two steps closer to the door than any living soul before him.
[cut to the present]
Reuben: Second most successful robbery...
[flashback - the gaming room at the Flamingo, in grainy color. A long-haired man is running for the door, clutching a bag]
Reuben: The Flamingo in '71. This guy actually tasted fresh oxygen before they grabbed him.
[the man gets within a few feet of the door, before a guard smashes him across the face with a nightstick]
Reuben: Of course, he was breathing out of a hose for the next three weeks. Goddamn hippy.
[back to the present]
Reuben: And the *closest* any man has ever come to robbing a Las Vegas casino...
[flashback - outside Caesar's Palace, in color. A man runs out, hunched over an armful of cash, followed by three security guards]
Reuben: Was outside of Caesar's in '87. He came, he grabbed...
[the three guards shoot the thief in the back]
Reuben: They conquered.
Virgil Malloy: Are you a man?
Turk Malloy: Yes, nineteen.
Virgil Malloy: Are you alive?
Turk Malloy: Yes, eighteen.
Virgil Malloy: Evel Knievel.
Turk Malloy: ...shit.
Danny: Thirteen million and you drive this piece of shit cross country to pick me up?
Rusty: Blew it all on the suit.
[last lines]
[Danny has just got out of jail]
Danny: Hi!
Tess: Hi. We need to get Rusty a girl.
Rusty: There's a women's prison down the road.
Danny: [noticing Tess is wearing her wedding ring] You said that you sold this.
Tess: I said that.
Danny: Liar.
Tess: Thief.
[they kiss]
Danny Ocean: [Answering the phone] Hello, this is a recording, you've dialed the right number, now hang up and don't do it again.
Linus: [Yen's cast is caught in vault door, Unaware that Yen is trapped, Danny and Linus try to blow the door but the bomb doesnt go off] Did you check the batteries?
[pause]
Linus: You know, you lose focus in this game for one second...
Danny: I know, somebody gets hurt. You don't hear Yen complaining.
[they replace the batteries and the door explodes]
Rusty: You'd need at least a dozen guys doing a combination of cons.
Danny: Like what, do you think?
Rusty: Off the top of my head, I'd say you're looking at a Boeski, a Jim Brown, a Miss Daisy, two Jethros and a Leon Spinks, not to mention the biggest Ella Fitzgerald ever.
Danny: Now, they tell me I paid my debt to society.
Tess: Funny, I never got a check.
Danny: Livingston, we're set.
Rusty: Livingston, we're set.
Livingston: Basher, we're set.
Basher: Hang on a minute chief.
Livingston: We don't have a minute, Yen's gonna suffocate.
Basher: Then you'd better leave off bothering me, don't you think?
Rusty: God, I'm bored!
Danny: You look bored.
Rusty: I am bored!
[long pause]
Rusty: How was the clink? You get the cookies I sent?
Danny: Why do you think I came to see you first?
[while they are watching a dozen Chinese acrobats at a circus]
Danny: Which one is the amazing Yen?
Rusty: He's the little Chinese guy.
[discussing possible candidates for their crew]
Danny: Phil Turenteen...
Rusty: Dead.
Danny: No shit. On the job?
Rusty: Skin cancer.
Danny: D'you send flowers?
Rusty: Dated his wife for a while.
Saul: I have a question, say we get into the cage, and through the security doors there and down the elevator we can't move, and past the guards with the guns, and into the vault we can't open...
Rusty: Without being seen by the cameras.
Danny: Oh yeah, sorry, I forgot to mention that.
Saul: Yeah well, say we do all that... uh... we're just supposed to walk out of there with $150,000,000 in cash on us, without getting stopped?
[pause as everyone turns to look at Danny]
Danny: Yeah.
Saul: Oh. Okay.
[pretending the Nevada Gaming Commission is racist]
Frank: They might as well call it whitejack!
Reuben: You guys are pros. The best. I'm sure you can make it out of the casino. Of course, lest we forget, once you're out the front door, you're still in the middle of the fucking desert!
[masquerading as an A.T.F. agent, Rusty shoves Basher against a police car, pretending to search him]
Rusty: [under his breath] Hey, Bash.
Basher: Hey, Russ.
Rusty: How fast can you put something together from what I just slipped you?
Basher: It's done.
[Rusty lifts up Basher, and they slowly leave the crime scene]
Basher: Hey, is Danny about?
Rusty: Yeah, he's waiting around the corner.
Basher: Oh, that's terrific! It will be nice working with proper villains again.
Rusty: [turns and shouts] Everybody down, now!
[they break into a run as explosions rock the crime scene]
Basher: Ha-ha-ha! They weren't expecting that shit!
Rusty: Nice work.
Basher: Oh, thank you.
Danny: Tess, you're doing a great job curating the museum, the Vermeer is quite good, simple, vibrant, but his work definitely fell off as he got older.
Tess: Remind you of anyone?
Danny: And I always confuse Monet and Manet. Now which one married his mistress?
Tess: Monet.
Danny: Right, and then Manet had syphilis.
Tess: They also painted occasionally.
Bartender: [over the noise in the background] How's the game going?
Rusty: Longest hour of my life.
Bartender: [not hearing him] What?
Rusty: I'm running away with your wife.
Bartender: Great!
[He grins and flashes Rusty a thumbs-up]
Basher: So unless we intend to do this job in Reno, we're in barney.
[everyone pauses]
Basher: Barney Rubble.
[they look bewildered]
Basher: Trouble!
Rusty: [impersonating a doctor] I'm sorry. He's gone.
Virgil Malloy: [as he and Turk enter, impersonating paramedics] Man, I told you to run.
Turk Malloy: Don't do that.
Virgil Malloy: What, I didn't tell you to run?
Tess: You of all people should know Terry, in your hotel, there's always someone watching.
Topher Grace: Hey Rus, let me ask you a question. Are you incorporated? Well, if not you should really think about it cos I was talking to my manager...
Rusty: Bernie?
Topher Grace: No, not Bernie, my business manager. You know what? They're both named Bernie. Anyway, he was saying that because what we do here is kind of like research for a future like gig or whatever I can totally make it a tax write off. The only thing is I'd have to pay you by check.
[Rusty stops and looks at him]
Topher Grace: Or we could stick to cash
[Rusty nods]
Topher Grace: You know what? Yeah, let's just stick to cash.
Linus: Smash and grab job, huh?
Rusty: Slightly more complicated than that.
Linus: Well, yeah.
Tess: You know what your problem is?
Danny: I only have one?
Reuben: If you're gonna steal from Terry Benedict, you'd better goddamn KNOW. This sorta thing used to be civilized, you'd hit a guy, he'd whack you, done. But with Benedict... at the end of this, he'd BETTER not know you're involved, not know your names or think you're dead because he'll kill ya, and then he'll go to work on ya.
Danny: That's why we're going to be very careful. Very precise
Rusty: Yeah, well-funded.
Reuben: Yeah. Ya gotta be NUTS, too. And you're gonna need a crew as NUTS as you are!
[pause]
Reuben: So who've you got in mind?
Parole Board Member #1: Mr Ocean, the purpose of this hearing is to determine, whether, if released, you are likely to break the law again. While this was your first conviction, you have been implicated, though never charged, in over a dozen other confidence tricks and frauds. What can you tell us about those?
Danny: As you say, ma'am, I was never charged.
Parole Board Member #2: Mr Ocean, what we're trying to find out is was there a reason you chose to commit this crime, or was there a reason you simply got caught this time.
Danny: My wife left me. I was upset. I fell into a self-destructive pattern.
Parole Board Member #3: If released, is it likely you'd fall back into a similar pattern?
Danny: She already left me once. I don't think she'd do it again just for kicks.
Tess: Danny was walking through the restaurant when he spotted me.
Terry: Is that right?
Danny: Yeah, imagine the odds.
Terry: Of all the gin joints in all the world.
Danny: Why do they always paint hallways that color?
Rusty: They say taupe is very soothing.
[Basher's original plan for knocking out the casino's power has flopped]
Basher: Hang on a minute, hang on... we could use a pinch.
Danny: What's a "pinch"?
Basher: A pinch is a device which creates, like, a cardiac arrest for any broadband electrical circuitry. Better yet, a pinch is a bomb - now, but without the bomb. See, when a nuclear weapon detonates, it unleashes an electromagnetic pulse which shuts down any power source within its blast radius. Now that tends not to matter in most cases, because the nuclear weapon usually destroys anything you might need power for anyway. But see, a pinch creates a similar electromagnetic pulse, but without the fuss of mass destruction and death. So instead of Hiroshima, you'd be getting the seventeenth century.
Saul: I saw you at the paddock... before the second race, outside the men's room when I placed my bet.
Saul: I saw you before you even got up this morning.
Rusty: How you been, Saul?
Saul: Never Better.
Rusty: What's with the orange?
Saul: My doctor says I need to take more vitamins.
Rusty: So why don't you take vitamins?
Saul: You come here to give me a physical?
Topher Grace: Mr Ocean, what do you do for a living? If you don't mind me asking.
Danny: Why would I mind you asking? Two cards. I just got out of prison.
Topher Grace: Really?
Joshua Jackson: Well why were you in prison?
Danny: I stole things.
Shane West: You stole things? Like jewels?
Rusty: Incan matrimonial headmasks.
Shane West: Any money in those? Incan matrimonial
Danny: Headmasks. There's some.
Rusty: Don't let him fool you, there's boatloads. If you can move them. I'll take one. But you can't.
Danny: My fence seemed confident enough.
Rusty: Dealing in cash you don't need a fence.
Danny: Some people lack vision.
Rusty: Probably everybody in cell block E
Tess: You're a thief and a liar.
Danny: I only lied about being a thief, I don't do that anymore.
Tess: Steal?
Danny: Lie.
Tess: I'm with someone who doesn't have to make that kind of distinction.
Danny: No, he's very clear on both.
Terry: I know everything that's happening in my hotels.
Danny: So I should put the towels back?
Terry: No, the towels you can keep.
Rusty: Saul, you're the best there is. You're in Cooperstown. What do you want?
Saul: Nothing. I've got a duplex now, wall-to-wall, goldfish. I'm seeing a nice lady who works the "Unmentionables" counter at Macy's. I've changed.
Rusty: Guys like us don't change, Saul. We either stay sharp or we get sloppy, we don't change.
Reuben: What? Did you guys get a group rate or something?
Rusty: 'Wonder what Rueben'll say.
Reuben: [Cut to Rueben] YOU'RE OUTTA YOUR GODDAMN MINDS!
[while reconnoitering the casinos]
Virgil Malloy: [makes a note] Leaving at 10:44.
Turk Malloy: 10:46, get a watch that works.
Danny: [holds up a black wallet] Hello Linus. Whose is this?
Linus: Who are you?
Danny: A friend of Bobby Caldwell's.
[produces a plane ticket]
Danny: You're either in or you're out. Right now.
Linus: What is it?
Danny: It's a plane ticket. A job offer.
Linus: You're pretty trusting pretty fast.
Danny: Well Bobby has a lot of faith in you.
Linus: Fathers are like that.
Saul: [watching Danny, Linus, and Yen load the money from the vault] That is the sexiest thing I have ever seen!
Reuben: You're Bobby Caldwell's kid. From Chicago. It's nice there, do you like it?
Linus: Yeah.
Reuben: That's wonderful. Get in the goddamn house.
Danny Ocean: I've got great news for you.
Beatrice Ocean: Auburn beat Alabama by twelve points.
[Shaking Billy Tim Denham's hand]
Frank: You have lovely hands. Do you moisturize?
Billy Tim Denham: I'm Sorry?
Frank: [as he slowly crushes Denham's hand in his grip] You know, I've tried all sorts of moisturizers. I even went fragrance free for a whole year. Now my sister, she uses some kind of uh... uh... uh... uh... aloe vera with a little sunscreen in it, and ideally, we should all wear gloves when going to bed, but I found out that that creates a kind of an interference with my... social agenda, you know what I mean.
Danny: We'll need Saul.
Rusty: He won't do it. He got out of the game a year ago.
Danny: Get religion?
Rusty: Ulcers.
Danny: ...You could ask him.
Rusty: Hey, I could ask him.
Danny Ocean: Why waste those cute little tricks that the Army taught us just because it's sort of peaceful now.
[the rest of the crew get out of the van, with Turk and Virgil in the front; Danny stops Linus]
Danny: What are you doing?
Linus: I'm coming with you.
Danny: No.
Linus: What? Oh, no, no...
[as they shut the doors on him]
Linus: [shouts] Don't leave me with these guys!
[Yen slides down into the hole in the cart]
Rusty: Amazing. You okay? You want something to read, a magazine or something?
[Yen's hand pops out of the hole, giving Rusty the finger]
Rusty: Okay.
[watching Linus trapped on the upper floor by security guards]
Virgil Malloy: Shouldn't someone help him?
Basher: Oh, that's a good idea, Rabbit. Let's hop out of the van and we can all get nicked!
[teaching poker to young Hollywood actors]
Rusty: Shane, you've got three pairs. You can't have six cards! You can't have six cards in a five-card game!
[sitting in a surveillance van with two FBI agents]
FBI Man #2: Let's see if we can zoom in on that guy...
FBI Man #1: Yeah.
[he reaches for the camera controls]
Livingston: Don't - don't - d-don't... Don't touch that.
FBI Man #1: Why not?
Livingston: Uh, do you see me grabbing the gun out of your holster and just waving it around?
[in a safe heist]
Basher: All right chaps. Hang on to your knickers.
[He triggers the bomb, and the safe door cracks open. Laughing, Basher dances into the vault - and the alarm goes off]
Basher: Oh leave it out! You tossers! You had one job to do!
Linus: The last guy they caught cheating in here? Benedict not only sent him up for 10 years, he had the bank seize his house and then he bankrupted...
Rusty, Linus: -his brother-in-law's tractor dealership.
Rusty: Yeah, I heard.
Danny Ocean: [to Jimmy as he is getting a massage from a beautiful masseuse] If you're not careful, buddy boy, she'll rub you out.
Terry: All right. Now I have complied with your every request, would you agree?
Rusty: I would.
Terry: Good, 'cause now I have one of my own. Run and hide, asshole. Run and hide. If you should be picked up next week buying a hundred-thousand dollar sports car in Newport Beach, I am going to be supremely disappointed. Because I want my people to find you, and when they do, rest assured we are not going to hand you over to the police. So my advice to you again is this: run and hide. That is all that I ask.
Reuben: Where are they?
Saul: They will be here.
Reuben: [mimicking Saul's voice] They will be here. Schmuck.
Danny: Second task, power - on the night of the fight, we're gonna throw the switch on Sin City. Basher, it's your show.
Basher: You want broke, blind, or bedlam?
Danny: How about all three?
Basher: Right, it's done.
Jimmy Foster: I made a cardinal rule: never to answer the 'phone in December.
Massuese: That's crazy. Why?
Jimmy Foster: Because one December, every time I picked up the 'phone they sent me out into the snow to play with my friends. That was at the Bulge.
Turk Malloy: Saul, do you get out to Utah much?
Saul: Not as often as I'd like.
Turk Malloy: Check it out. I think you'd dig Provo. You could do well there.
Saul: I'll look into it.
Rusty: Saul, turn that off, will you?
Saul: [in fake accent] I'll turn it off when I'm ready to...
Rusty: Saul!
Saul: [normal voice] It's off, it's off!
Basher: It will be nice working with proper villains again!
[teaching poker to young actors]
Rusty: Barry, your turn.
Barry Watson: Uh... four.
Rusty: You don't want four. You want to fold.
Barry Watson: I do? Is that a good thing?
Hotel Security: Hi!
Livingston: Fine, thank you.
Basher: That poxy demo crew haven't used a coaxial feed to batten the main line, have they? Instead they've gone and nosed up the backup grid, nosed it right up!
Reuben: [to Livingston] Do you understand any of this?
Livingston: I'll explain later.
Topher Grace: Fellas! Fellas! Check this... all... red!
[Lays down his hand, which is revealed as two diamonds and three hearts, as everyone at the table congratulates him on his "flush"]
Tess: You're thirty seconds late, I was going to send out a search-
[looks up and sees Danny]
Jimmy Foster: [speaking on the 'phone] Speaking of finances. Could you let me have some more.
Mrs. Restes: More? More what?
Jimmy Foster: Money. M-O-N-Y.
Sam Harmon: "E"
Jimmy Foster: M-O-N-*E*-Y
[describing Terry Benedict]
Reuben: He'll kill you, then he'll go to work on you.
Mrs. Restes: [speaking of her son] He met a jiggly little number who was Vegas-bound.
Adele Ekstrom: "Jiggly little number" isn't exactly how I would describe Danny Ocean... more like a well-mannered shark.
Mrs. Restes: Is he?
Vince Massler: I can't do it, boys. I've got my wife to think of.
Danny Ocean: Think of her rich.
Vince Massler: Think of me dead.
Danny: You remember the day I went out for cigarettes and didn't come back? You must have noticed.
[goes to sit down]
Tess: I don't smoke. Don't sit!
Livingston: The moment you set foot on that casino floor, they'll be watching you like hawks. Hawks with video cameras.
Beatrice Ocean: [to Sam about her marriage with Danny] We didn't have a home, Sam. We had a floating crap game.
Rusty: The Bellagio and the Mirage. These are Terry Benedict's places.
Danny: Yes they are. You think he'll mind?
Rusty: More than somewhat.
Danny: [Narrating] The Nevada Gaming Commission stipulates that a casino must hold and reserve enough cash to cover every chip that's played on its floor. That means on a week day, by law, it has to carry anywhere between sixty to seventy million dollars in cash and coin, on the weekend it has to carry anywhere between eighty and ninety million, on a fight night, like the one in two weeks from tonight, the night we're going to rob it, one hundred and fifty million. Without breaking a sweat, there's eleven of us, each with an equal share, you do the math.
Beatrice Ocean: [to Danny Oceans] Oh, Danny. What a prize you are. The only husband in the world who'd proposition his own wife.
Rusty: [to Danny as he gets out of prison] I hope you were the groom.
Explosives Cop: That's all you used in the event, nothin' else?
Basher: Hang on, are you accusing me of boobytrapping?
Explosives Cop: Well, how about it?
Rusty: [masquerading as an ATF agent] Booby traps aren't Mr. Torres style, isn't that right, "Basher"? Peck, ATF. Let me venture a guess, simple g form mainliner, backwound, quick fuse with a drag under 20 feet? Yea... let me ask you somethin else did you search this scumbag for booby traps, on his person? I mean really search, not just for weapons?
[cop shakes head no]
Rusty: Stand back.
[shoves Basher against cop car]
Basher: Oy. here we go
Rusty: Go find Griggs, tell him I need to see him.
Explosives Cop: Who?
Rusty: Just find him, will ya?
Rusty: Tell me this is not about her, or I am walking. I am walking off this job right now.
Danny: Who?
Rusty: Tess. Terry Benedict. Tell me this is not about screwing the guy who's screwing your wife.
Danny: Ex wife. It's not about that.
[pause]
Danny: Not entirely about that.
Rusty: Okay, here's the problem. Now we're stealing 2 things. And when push comes to shove, and you can't have both, which are you gonna choose, huh? And remember: Tess does not split 11 ways!
Basher: Window or aisle, boys? Yeah, we're in deep shit!
[first lines]
[At Parole Hearing]
Woman's Voice: Good Morning.
Danny: Morning.
Woman's Voice: Please state your name for the record.
Danny: Daniel Ocean.
Beatrice Ocean: There's only one thing you love, Danny: that's danger. Cliffhanging. You could never love a woman like you love danger.
Rusty: [Danny comes out of jail] "I hope you were the groom..."
Danny: [looking at Rusty's shirt] "Ted Nugent called, he wants his shirt back..."
Rusty: What's with the orange?
Saul: My doctor says I need vitamins.
Rusty: So why don't you take vitamins?
Saul: You come here to give me a physical?
Shane West: Hit me.
Rusty: It's not blackjack.
Linus: Apparently, he's got a record longer than my... well, it's long.
Adele Ekstrom: Happy burial, dead dog.
Danny: [Narrating] First task: Reconnaissance I want to know everything that's going on in all three casinos, the rotation of the dealers, the path of every cash cart, I want to know about everything about every guard and every watcher, anyone with a security pass, I want to know where they're from, what their nicknames are, how they take their coffee, most of all, I want you guys to know these casinos, their built to keep people in, I want you guys to know the quick routes out, third task surveillance: Casino security has an eye and ear on everyone, so we want an eye and ear on them.
Josh Howard: They way I figure it is like this: the eleven of us cats against this one city...?
[On the phone]
Terry: Who the hell is this?
Rusty: The man who's robbing you!
Tipsy Girl: I'm so drunk, I don't think I could lie down without holding on!
Tipsy Girl: [Obviously very tipsy] I thought he said i was a lady's drink. I think he meant a lady horse.
Josh Howard: Look Vince - the brave ones don't come home. You stay scared.
Vince Massler: Yeah. You were always one of those guys who didn't want any brave ones on patrol with you, weren't you?
Josh Howard: It's simple enough - in my book "brave" rhymes with "stupid", and it still does.
Danny: How's your wife?
Bruiser: Pregnant again.
Danny: Well, that happens.
Basher: See, when a nuclear weapon detonates it unleashes an electromagnetic pulse which shuts down any power source within its blast radius. Now that tends not to matter in most cases because a nuclear weapon usually destroys everything you might need power for anyway. A pinch creates a similar electromagnetic pulse, but without the fuss of mass destruction and death. So instead of Hiroshima, you'd be getting the seventeenth century.
'Curly' Steffens: You're not gonna make yourself popular, knocking Danny.
Spyros Acebos: Who's knocking him? I love him. I respect talent. All I'm asking is he should me a little.
'Curly' Steffens: Too tough. Don' ask.
Tess: Do you remember what I said when we met?
Danny: You said I'd better know what I'm doing.
Tess: And do you? Because you should walk out that door if you don't.
Danny: I know what I'm doing.
Terry: What are you doing?
Sam Harmon: The odds are always with the house,
[slams hand on pool table]
Sam Harmon: with the house!
Vince Massler: If it's so fool-proof, why hasn't somebody done it yet?
Danny Ocean: Same reason nobody's gone to the moon yet - no equipment.
Jimmy Foster: And we're equipped.
Duke Santos: It's not a zircon, it's a diamond; a big diamond. You don't think it's too big, do you? Your mother has excellent taste.
Jimmy Foster: [Sarcastically] Has she?
Duke Santos: [to Danny and Sam] I know you won't try anything cute. Fifty percent of something is better than one hundred percent of nothin'.
Danny Ocean: Well I married you once and it didn't work out too well, so what's wrong with a little hey-hey?
Beatrice Ocean: Nothing. Nothing at all. I'd never knock it as long as there was a little love involved.
Danny Ocean: You mean there isn't.
Beatrice Ocean: On your part, not much.
Danny: All right.
[Bruiser punches Danny]
Danny: Ahh! Jesus, Bruiser, not until later!
Bruiser: Sorry Danny, I forgot.
Danny: It's all right.
Terry: Well, then inform Mr. Levin that he'll be better off watching the fight in front of his television at home... Surely *he* must have HBO.
Mrs. Restes: You'll miss my wedding!
Jimmy Foster: Mother, I have never missed one of your weddings.
Mrs. Restes: Yes, you did. My first one.
Danny: I'm not joking, Tess.
Tess: I'm not laughing, Danny.
[as Tess walks down the stairs]
Linus: This is the best part of my day.
Loudmouth at Burlesque: Honey Face, I'd like to wrap you up, take you home, and spread you on my waffle!
Basher: Where we at boys?
Livingston: Pins and floor sensors now.
Basher: Blinder.
Danny Ocean: Going down.
Lift attendant: Going down.
Danny Ocean: Where they serve the drinks.
Lift attendant: To the bar.
Rusty: Did someone call for a doctor?
[Yen does the real somersault]
Frank: Ten says he shorts it.
Livingston: No bet.
Parole Board Member #1: Good morning.
Danny: Morning.
Parole Board Member #1: Please state your name for the record.
Danny: Daniel Ocean.
Parole Board Member #1: Thank you. Mr. Ocean, the purpose of this hearing is to determine whether, if released, you are likely to break the law again.
Beatrice Ocean: [to Sam Harmon] I'll consider mistress, plaything, toy for a night, but I refuse to be your mother. That's out!

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