Astronauts, and their robotic dog AMME, search for solutions to save a dying Earth by searching on Mars, only to have the mission go terribly awry.

Gallagher: [Gallagher and Pettengill are doing AMEE's prelaunch diagnostic. They activate her and she unfolds, emitting a trilling sound] Hey sweetie.
Chip Pettengill: Sweetie? Is she our navigator or your girlfriend?
Gallagher: [Shrugs] It's been a long flight.
Chip Pettengill: Certainly has.
Gallagher: We can breathe!
Dr. Quinn Burchenal: I don't know what the hell this is but I'll take it!
Chip Pettengill: It's weird. There's nothing here.
Gallagher: It's Mars.
Dr. Quinn Burchenal: We just disappointed 10 billion people. Not counting the ex-wives.
Dr. Quinn Burchenal: [looking at the destroyed habitat] Well, at least this thing has enough rocket fuel to keep us warm.
Gallagher: [igniting the fuel with a lighter] Here comes a billion dollar campfire. At least it's good for something.
Chip Pettengill: It's your girlfriend. She made it.
Gallagher: That's my kind of girl.
Gallagher: God works in mysterious ways.
Commander Kate Bowman: On Earth, they're calling you a hero, Gallagher.
[Commander Kate Bowman steps out of the shower not realizing Gallagher coming in]
Commander Kate Bowman: Could you pass me the towel, please?
Gallagher: Sure. Sorry.
Commander Kate Bowman: Just pretend I'm your sister.
Gallagher: [grins] I have two sisters. They don't look like you.
Gallagher: We walk 100 km. to a 30 year old Russian rock probe that failed to launch and try to jump start it. Gee, why couldn't you make it tough.
Gallagher: This is it. That moment they told us in high school where one day, algebra would save our lives.
Dr. Quinn Burchenal: [Laughs] Shut up.
[Urinating on the surface of Mars]
Dr. Quinn Burchenal: Whoa! You sure do get some high arc in this low gravity.
Gallagher: You watching this, AMEE? We're taking the first piss on Mars.
Dr. Quinn Burchenal: Man's a party animal. If he is doing okay nothing else matters. That's not going to change.
[Gallagher needs a new battery for the sample-return vehicle, and has just realized that the battery from the malfunctioning AMEE robot will work]
Gallagher: Alternate high-voltage energy source... . come and get me.
Gallagher: Well, thats about it. I hate this planet. I really miss Earth. I really miss a lot of things. I... . I 'm gonna miss you.
Gallagher: Aren't you gonna say anything?.
[he stops for a second]
Gallagher: I shoulda kissed you.
Commander Kate Bowman: Yeah, you shoulda kissed me.
Lucille: Com Frequency lost, Commander
Gallagher: Bye... .
Dr. Quinn Burchenal: Short time to live, long time to wait.
[first lines]
Commander Kate Bowman: [narration] By the year 2000 we had begun to over populate, pollute, and poison our planet faster than we could clean it up. We ignored the problem for as long as we could. But we were kidding ourselves. By 2025, we knew we were in trouble. And began to desperately search for a new home - Mars.
Commander Kate Bowman: For the last 20 years we've been sending unmanned probes with algae, bio-engineered to grow there and produce oxygen. We're going to build ourselves an atmosphere we can breathe. And for 20 years it seemed to worked. It looked like we pulled it off. We'd done it. Then all of a sudden, oxygen levels started to drop. We don't know why.
Commander Kate Bowman: How do you propose that I explain to Houston that two of my crew went blind drinking moonshine vodka?
Gallagher: Very carefully?
[Burchenal giggles]
Commander Kate Bowman: So what, doesn't this establishment serve women?
Chantilas: [Suppose] we just finished poisoning the earth and everyone was dead in a hundred years. Then what was the point of anything? Art, beauty-all gone-the Greeks, the Constitution, people dying for freedom, ideas. None of it meant anything? What about religion? Do we give up on God too?
Gallagher: You didn't just give up being a scientist one day, did you?
Chantilas: I realized science couldn't answer any of the really interesting questions. So, I turned to philosophy. I've been searching for God ever since. Who knows, I may pick up a rock and it'll say underneath, "Made by God." The universe is full of surprises.
Gallagher: Fuck this planet!
Gallagher: He said, "Any man who puts his life in the hands of a bunch of batteries is an idiot."
Gallagher: I prefer one moon, you know? That way you know what to call it: The Moon.
Lt. Ted Santen: [Over the radio] More color commentary from the space janitor.
Gallagher: The correct term is mechanical systems engineer.
Chip Pettengill: ....But he will accept space janitor.
Gallagher: Kill him.
Commander Kate Bowman: A big ice storm's coming straight for you. It's the size of Montana, and it's moving fast. I'm going into comm blackout. You need to find shelter immediately, now.
[Upon being resuscitated]
Gallagher: I saw Elvis.
Dr. Quinn Burchenal: A former rocket scientist who now specializes in making sandwiches. Terrific.
[Gallagher asks the symptoms of hypoxia]
Dr. Quinn Burchenal: Hypoxia? Dizzy. Skin'll tingle. Vision narrows. Then anoxia. Shock, convulsions, acidosis.
Gallagher: Gonna hurt?
Dr. Quinn Burchenal: Yeah.
Dr. Quinn Burchenal: Uh oh - we're going to talk about God now, aren't we? 'Cause if we are, I'm going to need another pop.
Chantilas: Not God... . faith.
Dr. Quinn Burchenal: Faith? Oh, I had a girlfriend named Faith. She cheated on me, with a girl named Chastity.
Gallagher: It's nice just to know you are still up there.
Commander Kate Bowman: Yeah well, I don't mind dying, I just hate being alone so get your asses back here.
Lucille: Launch Release System not responding.
Commander Kate Bowman: That's not good.
Lucille: No, it isn't.
Commander Kate Bowman: No joy on all scenarios for engine ignition. That includes hitting the console
[hits the console]
Commander Kate Bowman: . What next? Over.
Gallagher: Maybe life's more mysterious than you think it is.
Dr. Quinn Burchenal: [after a discussion of faith] Listen, let's forget about all the religious stuff for now. Now, I say, Commander Bowman, to hell with humanity. I say, we take it. We just take it over for ourselves!
Gallagher: [sounding very serious] Call Earth, tell them it sucks, and don't bother coming?
Dr. Quinn Burchenal: [laughs] Yeah, whatever keeps the riffraffs out. Chantilas, you can do the religion thing. Gallagher, you can keep the space john working... . Pettengail's... . passed out, and I can do pretty much everything else. King.
Commander Kate Bowman: What about me?
[Team members give Bowman a look because it's totally obvious]
Dr. Quinn Burchenal: You'll be my queen. Propagation of the species.
[Commander Bowman nods at him, and gets up and leaves]
Dr. Quinn Burchenal: It was just a, just a joke, Commander Bowman.
Chantilas: And on that note gentlemen, I suggest we all retire.

If you find QuotesGram website useful to you, please donate $10 to support the ongoing development work.