Scary Movie 5 Quotes

A couple begin to experience some unusual activity after bringing their lost nieces and nephew home. With the help of home-surveillance cameras, they learn they're being stalked by a nefarious demon.

Jody Campbell: Hey! We don't lick our balls in this house!
Dan: Sorry, won't happen again.

Christian Grey: Your safe word is... Deeper.

Martin: Caesar has got to show some human intelligence at that board meeeting or...
Dan: Caesar's probably smarter than half of those board members.
Martin: Dan...
Dan: I know what you're going to say, if he's so smart, why is he in the cage?
Martin: You're in the cage.

[from trailer]
Jody Campbell: So, a demon is the worse thing you can have?
Priest: No, ma'am, an STD is the worse thing you can have.

Peter: Okay, well let's at least finish the song. Everyone hold hands... except for Eric.
Eric: Damn.

Christian Grey: How do you like my blue room?
Jody Campbell: It's red.
Christian Grey: Oh. I'm color blind, my decorator assured me... never mind.

[from trailer]
Jody Campbell: Hi, we're looking for a book that can stop evil spirits.

Jody Campbell: Gort klaatu barada nikto, it says the curse ends with one word: Adunda.

[from trailer]
Charlie Sheen: I've come back from worse than this.

Lindsay Lohan: I don't want to end up all over the Internet. I pride myself on keeping a low profile. My private life is private... wait, what are all these?
Charlie Sheen: Oh, just some movies I rented.
Lindsay Lohan: Me and Brandy, missionary?
Charlie Sheen: A tale of two girls who become nuns.
Lindsay Lohan: And what are all those?
Charlie Sheen: Oh, it's just your standard home security setup, basic run of the mill.
Lindsay Lohan: And why do you need security cameras pointing at your bed.
Charlie Sheen: In case a burglar tries to steal my sex tapes.

Lindsay Lohan: I don't wanna end up all over the internet. I pride myself in keeping a low profile. My private life is private.

Peter: I'm gonna need a little help, I have to go to the bathroom. My penis is in the corner.
Eric: This is fucked up.

Martin: Look, they still throw their shit.
Dan: But now they can keep score.

Charlie Sheen: Do me a favor. Promise me you won't drive.
Lindsay Lohan: That's sweet. You're worried about me driving.
Charlie Sheen: I'm worried about me. I'm a pedestrian.

Dan: Isn't that one of Jody's bathing suits?

Snoop Dogg: We need to get to that cabin in the woods.

Jody Campbell: I feel like there's something in this house.

Jody Campbell: I'm not gonna get pregnant am I?
Kendra Brooks: No.

[to Dom after hitting Charlie]
Lindsay Lohan: You were driving.

Snoop Dogg: Told you that shark was gonna come in handy.

[from trailer]
Priest: Demon's got my fist, man!

Charlie Sheen: Get out of here, Emilio.

Snoop Dogg: When we get this reward, we gonna get ourselves a boat, some bitches and a shark
Mac Miller: Why are we gonna need a shark?
Snoop Dogg: We just gon' need one.

Lindsay Lohan: Okay, what is that?
Charlie Sheen: Just unraveling the old hose.
Charlie Sheen: Save it for tomorrow, Raul!
Raul - the Gardener: Si senor.

Lindsay Lohan: I'm going to blow you across the room!
Charlie Sheen: Sounds awesome.

Pierre: Alright, attention! I do not wish to repeat myself. I repeat, I do not wish to repeat myself.

Dom Kolb: You need to clear your subconscious, and watch what you think about. Nothing crazy.
Jody Campbell: Right. Like having your crotch burst into flames.

Pierre: Do you accept euros?

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Scary Movie 5 Quotes

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