A show that follows Bam Margera (of Jackass and CKY fame) in his attempts to anger his parents. Unlike CKY or Jackass, Viva La Bam focuses mainly on the torture of Bam's parents and less on harmful stunts.

Bam Margera: Where are you going?
Bam's Mom: Paris. I've been telling you guys for three weeks! We're going for our anniversary
Bam's Crew: I wasn't listening
Bam Margera: Neither was I
Bam's Dad: What the hell are you doing here?
Oderus: I couldn't sleep upstairs, it frightens me!
Bam's Dad: But your friends are there, doesn't that make you...
Oderus: [shouts] They're not my friends!
Bam's Mom: Oh, my God! This is just like the Exorcist.
Bam's Mom: Bam! Your friends just buried my car in snow!
Bam Margera: They're not my friends.
Bam's Uncle: Italy's shaped like a boot for a reason... so they can stick it up your ass.
Bam Margera: What country are we in?
Bam's Uncle: Switzer-Land Bam.
Bam Margera: And what are ya wearing?
Bam's Uncle: The Liederhosen you gave me.
Bam's Uncle: [In Pisa, Italy] The whole goddamn city is named after pizza
Bam Margera: It's Pisa
Bam Margera: Yeah, but that's "pizza" in Italian
Bam's Uncle: I wanna get leaning leaning tower of pizza and I'll be happy
Bam Margera: The Leaning Tower of what?
Bam's Uncle: Pizza
Bam Margera: Spell It
Bam's Uncle: P-I-Z-Z-A. Pizza. It's like a spelling bee you know. Pizza.
Bam Margera: Vito the whole world is laughing at you right now
Bam's Uncle: No they're not Bam. That's how you spell pizza. P-I-Z-Z-A.
Bam Margera: Yeah, that's how you spell "pizza" it's not The Leaning Tower of pizza, jackass!
Bam's Uncle: That's where it came from, Bam, Italy. You don't know nothing abou Italy.
Bam Margera: [Hangs head laughing]
Bam Margera: Row your boat!
Bam's Uncle: Row my boat where? Gently down the stream?
Bam Margera: Looks like we're ready for Monaco. Ready to go outside?
Bam's Uncle: Yeah Bam I just wanna go to the beach.
Bam Margera: Do you know the rules of Monaco?
Bam's Uncle: Naw they got stupid rules...
Bam Margera: You cant talk loud.
Bam's Uncle: ...itza stupid kazixta stupid country, datzall i know.
Bam Margera: -whispering- Whisper.
Bam's Uncle: Whisper What?
Bam Margera: -whispering- Whisper, Shhhhh.
Bam's Uncle: What whisper then we'll get outta this town, and I can get outta this suit if I whisper?
Bam Margera: -whispering- Yes whisper.
Bam's Uncle: -whispering- I'll whisper lets go... I hate Monaco... Pistachio... Pistachio.
Colin Morrison: [drives his bike through a glass door in the house]
Bam's Mom: Am I the only normal one here?
Bam's Uncle: No, Ape, I'm normal.
Bam's Mom: Oh, God! You're so not normal!
Bam's Uncle: [Repeated] Yo!
Bam's Mom: [after Bam and friends fill April's car with snow] I'm gonna have to call a cab
Bam Margera: There is no cab companies in West Chester
Bam's Mom: I'm gonna call the Purple Cab Company
Bam's Crew: I've never heard of Purple Cab. There's only Rainbow Cab.
Bam's Mom: [Few moments later April drives up the drive in Bam's purple Lambo] -in mocking tone- "There's no Purple Cab company"
Bam Margera: [Everybody laughing] Get out of that!
Bam Margera: [Bam chases the car for a moment as April drives away] I was gonna throw a snowball at it but then I remembered it was mine!
Bam's Crew: [Sitting in bath full of cocoa and marshmellows] This is kind of nice
Bam's Dad: Turned out alright didn't it?
Bam's Crew: Yeah
Bam's Dad: It's comfortable in here!
Police Officer: Don't do anything stupid
Bam Margera: I wasn't planning on it
Police Officer: Good... 'cause I'll arrest your ass!
Bam's Crew: How are we going to spot 'em?
Bam's Crew: Are you kidding? We're looking for Phil. He's not too hard to pick out.
Bam's Crew: He's like the size of three Frenchmen!
Himself - Bam's Crew: There's a filthy virus that grows in this room, and it's called lying-itis!
Bam's Crew: [after putting frogs in Bam's tent] I guess he didn't find his prince. Maybe he should have kissed one.
Oderus: [shouts] Where is Bam Bam?
Tow-truck Driver: Shut the truck off!
Himself - Bam's Crew: "Shut the fuck up"?
Bam's Uncle: What are you? Retarded or something?
Bam Margera: Dico, you coming to Mexico?
Himself - Bam's Crew: No, all the video games suck ther. What am I gonna play, Outre Kombat? El Street Fight Grande?
Jimmy Pop: Have you ever tried calling you? I called you like 17 times. And I even left messages, and I even say dirty things on it to think that will make you mad and all fired up, and you'll call me.
Himself - Bam's Crew: [after he trash a bakery and April tells him off] You're insane!
Bam Margera: Is that all you do is bitch?
Bam's Mom: I bitch because you're my*son*!
Tim O'Conner: [while in France] Don't look American!
[from the opening creditd]
Announcer: Bam Margera. What will he do next?
Bam Margera: Whatever the fuck I want.
Bam Margera: I took H.I.M.'s tour bus!
Bam's Crew: We just had to carry with fat Vito...
Bam's Crew: [kisses Raab]
Bam's Crew: That makes it all better
George Ex CIA opperative: Friend, you ever have a polygraph before?
Brandon Novak: Yes
George Ex CIA opperative: Did you? How'd you do? Really good, I bet.
Brandon Novak: Uh... I got six months.
[everybody laughs]
Bam Margera: Well if Bran and Rake aren't going then I gotta call my friends, The Dudesons!
Bam's Crew: That one guy doesn't shut the hell up. Please don't call!
Bam Margera: Don't be a pussy Phil.
Bam Margera: Merry Christmas, ya little yerks!
Bam's Dad: [after April kisses Bam goodbye] If she kisses you, I can kiss you. I hope you know that. Bye Bye.
[Tries to kiss Bam]
Bam Margera: Ew! Get away!
Bam's Dad: When she kisses I kiss
Bam's Crew: This guy's not even in France yet, and already he's acting all weird
Bam's Crew: H.R Kissnshit!
Himself - Bam's Crew: Hey, Lady, do you like my surveillance table? It's the damndest.
Bam's Uncle: I'm gonna kill your plane, you watch!
Johnny Knoxville: Jesus, That's... That is so hateful...!
Bam's Uncle: Come near me again, I'll kill ya.
Himself - Bam's Crew: Have you ever had a boyfriend?
Bam's Crew: No
[polygraph machine says he is lying]
Himself - Bam's Crew: It's fucking called Gobbler's Knob? Hey, Rake it's your favourite place.
Bam's Uncle: Do you wanna die or do ya wanna live? Live or die?
Jimmy Pop: [talking to Bam about polygraph machines] Oh, come on. Those don't work. Can I kiss you?
Bam's Crew: You can't give me one snap.
[after Vito made Bams Hummer drive off that cliff thing]
Bam Margera: Vito... I'm proud of you! You thought this all through!
Himself - Bam's Crew: And I didn't take it, because a man with no hair couldn't take it possibly!
Bam's Uncle: Best Germany ever.
Jared 'Evil' Hasselhoff: Don't worry. We can fix this. My dad's a tv repairman. He's got the ultimate set of tools.
Bam Margera: Vito, you're borderline fat.
Jarpi: [Jarpi is jabbering away in Finnish]
Bam Margera: He just said every Finnish word in the fucking dictionary in a matter of five minutes
Bam Margera: [turns to Jarpi] All right. All right, enough. No more Finland talk!
Tim O'Conner: [Repeated] Oh, my God!
Himself - Bam's Crew: The food train has arrived, sire. Who ordered a side of style? At home, we call this "portions galore"! Enjoy.
Himself - Bam's Crew: Veal Scaloppini rhymes with Lamborghini. And they're both Italian!
Himself - Bam's Crew: Don Vito is so fat, his blood consists of mayonnaise.

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